So just a few quick things that I wanted to jot down to remember this week:



#1: My BFF called me (the one who is flying in from Indiana to go to the NKOTB! concert with me) to let me know that she bought her plane ticket. Also, she updated me on some family issues, like how our little brother (aka Booger-Butt) is doing quite well, after his 1st week in rehab. We are proud of him for making the decision to go and make himself well.



#2: I started a new job this week. It's a big change from what I'm used to doing. In fact, it's a career change or sorts, although I'm still in the Cancer Research field. I won't say on here where or with whom I'm working (Hi Dooce!!!) but I will say that the 1st week has been great and I'm looking forward to long career with this company. Plus I have cut my commute down from 90 minutes to 20. Oh yeah and I got a huge raise. Go me!



#3: I got new hard wood floors put into my ENTIRE house last week and I am in love. Everyday this week, whenever I get home from work, I tell Guy #6 about how much I love my new commute AND my new hardwood floors. Every so often, I add him to my list of things that I totally heart as well. But he always manages to get himself taken off that list just as soon as I add him on. ;-)



#4: Guy #6 and I had a lengthy, and quite productive, discussion about our money and budget last night. Made me feel good about our future and good about the fact that he is finally starting to act like a grown up. I guess that turning 30 actually did make an impact on him. (He joined the 30-something club early last month.)



#5: Plans for this weekend include going to see Kid Rock (with Rev Run) on Saturday, going to Papas on the Lake (one of our favorite ice houses) for some fun and beer on Sunday. Tonight we are going to meet up with a friend who is going to propose to his girlfriend TONIGHT. He invited close friends to witness the occasion. She just thinks we're all getting together for some drinks. I can't wait to see her reaction. They make a cute couple.

OK, I guess that's it. I just wanted to record the events from this week to remind myself that life is good. The Widow is indeed Merry.

Labels: Guy #6, Randomness

I have been in a very grumpy mood. And before you ask, no, it is not that time of the month, thank you very much. I just need to make some changes in my life that include the following:

1. Don't put up with people who don't appreciate me. I don't care if you're my boyfriend. If you don't appreciate everything I do, then I will kindly escort you out the door. (But with attitude.)
2. Get a new job, closer to home, that pays more than what I make now.
3. Get a maid. (I'm looking at you, Guy #6.)
4. Win the lottery. And I don't mean winning $2 from a scratch-off. I want at least $50,000 (after taxes.) Is that asking for too much? I didn't even ask for a million dollars, people.
5. Go on vacation. Any location in Texas does not count. Oh, and said vacation must include at least 3 nights in a hotel.
6. Get a tan during above mentioned vacation.

The end.

Labels: ANGER, Boys have cooties, Guy #6

I can't sleep with the TV on.

Why do you insist on watching it in our bedroom whenever I'm trying to go to bed? We have 2 TV's...go watch the other tv and let me sleep.

Did I mention that I have to wake up at 5:45 in the morning? Did I? DID I??? Every single freaking morning. Not sure if I've mentioned that to you. Every night. For the last year.

SO JUST TURN OFF THE DAMN TV ALREADY.

Before I decide to cancel the cable.

Labels: ANGER, Boys have cooties, Guy #6

Sometimes I wonder if DJ gets upset that I have fallen in love so deeply with someone new.

Sometimes I feel guitly about that.

Sometimes I feel sad about it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm forgetting him.

And for that, I feel ashamed.

Ashamed that I love someone new. And ashamed that I love someone old.

Please know that I will always love you forever and ever and ever with all of my heart.

Both of you.

Labels: Guy #6, Widowness

I know that everyone else has hurt you. I know that everyone else has left you. I know that everyone else has broken your trust.

But I won't. I am here to stay. Forever and ever and ever.

And I can't believe that I have finally found someone that won't hurt me...that won't leave me...that won't break my trust.

And this I truely believe.

I know that we're both afraid, but I think that we're both finally starting to realize that maybe there's no reason for the fear. Because my love for you is infinite. And somehow, someway, you've made it abundantly clear to me that your love for me is just as vast.

Labels: Guy #6, I think I threw up a little in my mouth

Everyday I pray to God and ask Him to help me be patient.

I don't know if it's working. But I'm trying REALLY REALLY REALLY hard.

I think that everyday I fall more and more and more in love with Guy #6. And I can't believe that he loves me just as much as I love him. And that makes me believe in miracles all over again. I wonder if it makes him believe?

I think that I will try to go for a walk today. No matter how tired I am after work. We'll see. I'm sure I'll sing a different tune by the time I get home.

Labels: Guy #6, Randomness

1. I want to find a job closer to home. This commute makes me unhappy. And I can't be The Merry Widow if I'm unhappy. I think I will "devote" the next couple of months to updating my resume and applying for a few jobs online, to see if anyone bites.

2. The flu sucks. I'm pretty sure that I could have been declared "clinically dead" this past weekend. I don't care if you don't believe me.

3. I want the snot in my head and chest to go away.

4. Scott needs to understand that I can't workout with him until above mentioned snot goes away. Snotty Widow = Asthma Widow = Trip to E.R.

5. I need to get my home owner's insurance stuff together.

6. Don't forget to call Guy #3.

7. I don't like to share. Don't make me do it anymore.

8. Finish reading The Secret.

9. Apply "secret" to above list.

10. Don't forget that he really does love me. He really really does. :-)

Labels: Guy #3, Guy #6, Randomness, Squatters

Even as I write this, I'm mad at him. Of course, it's for something petty and insignificant, but still, I pouted at him this morning as he dropped me off at work. And even though I was being a brat, he and I both know that I'll be over it by lunch time, and gushing over him through text messages...telling him that I love him forever and ever and ever. And of course, I know that he'll send the same text messages right back to me.

At work, during my lunch break, I'll tell all of my girlfriends how silly he is...about the stupid things that he does, or says...about his irresponsibility.... And yet, they all know that these things, are the things that make me love him. They know that I love his silliness, the stupid things that he does and says. That all of these things make me laugh, not at him, but with him. And they know that even though I pretend to be mad at him, and that I pout at him in the mornings when he's dropping me off at work, that I love him with my whole heart and can't wait for work to be over so that I can go home and be in his arms.

And everyday, I wonder how it is, that I became lucky enough to find love. Not just once...but twice.

Labels: Guy #6

Hey you! Remember that question that that one girl at the Taqueria asked us last night??? I wanna know the answer to that.

Labels: Guy #6

If there's anything that drives me nuts, it's losing every single game of Uno to Guy #6. Every. Single. Game.

And it doesn't help that everytime he wins, he calls me a loser.

It also doesn't help that even when we're not playing, he reminds me that I've lost every single game that we've played. Every. Single. Game.

Now, the grown-up in me just laughs it off.

The competitor in me makes me challenge him to more and more games so that I can not only beat him, but beat him badly.

The Mexican in me makes me want to reach over my cards and slap him in the face, all while doing the latina head shaking thing and saying, "Who's the loser now, beyotch?!?"

And the evil in me thinks of other ways of getting back at him, like by putting a few drops of visine in his big, cold mug o' beer,* or by replacing his beloved shaker of salt with sugar, or by secretly adding sour cream** to all of his tacos, or by replacing the entire jar of miracle whip with mayonaise***, or by adding an extra habanero pepper or 2 or 3 or 4 to the hot sauce....

Mwahahahaha...

Good thing I'm not evil. Or Mexican. Or competitive. Oh wait...


Footnotes:
*In case you're not aware, drinking beer with visine added to it will lead you to have fecal emergencies. Hehehe...nice little trick I learned in college.
**Guy #6 HATES sour cream
***Guy #6 hates mayo, just as equally as he hates sour cream.

Labels: Guy #6

Every so often, for no good reason at all, other than the fact that I have control issues and I let them take over my life sometimes, I forget how lucky I am. Yes, people, I am fully aware of my issues and know EXACTLY why I have them, so when I go on one of my frantic (read: anal) I-must-clean-every-single-thing-in-my-house rampages, just let me be. It's my way of dealing with stress, and believe it or not, I actually enjoy doing it. Because by the time I'm done cleaning, whatever the hell it is that I'm cleaning at that moment in time, I'm usually over whatever stupid/petty issue is going on in my teeny little head. Now, don't misinterpret my passion for cleanliness as a desire to be your maid, because as you are well aware, I get pretty peeved when I have to clean up after a certain someone who shall not be named but who is currently leaving clutter in my house, although recently she has gotten much much much better about it, so really I have nothing to complain about right now other than the fact that I spent way too much money on alcohol this month as a coping mechanism for the unnecessary stress that I built up in my mind this month, as a result of the clutter.

But anyway, I digress...

The point of this post is to remind myself that I am a lucky lucky girl, surrounded by some great friends, who overshadow the backstabbing, catty, bitter, people and/or grumpy old ladies who may or may not work somewhere in the northern Houston region. And even though we all know that I very often need some time to myself (usually to clean,) I actually can't live without my friends. This includes you, Guy #6...don't think that I haven't noticed ALL of the stuff you do around the house...yes, even the little stuff like how you vacuum in the corners, underneath the counter. Jeez, I don't even think that I've ever done that, so when I saw you do it, I was quite impressed. And I know that you, of all people, are most aware of how unhappy (aka grumpy aka bitchy) I get when my house is dirty, so just the mere idea that you are so thoughtful with your cleanliness gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Anyway, tonight, in my prayers, I will remember to thank God for all of the wonderful stuff He has given to me, and ask him to bless every single one of my friends, and grant them all the happiness in the world. And then I'll ask him to send me more money. Or at least some friends with some money who will pay for my stuff.

Labels: ANGER, Can anyone say anal?, Guy #6, Squatters

I am tired. But it's my turn to be here for her. So I stay strong for her. And I stay strong for him. And I stay optimistic for them.

But I am tired. And I can't let them see me this way. Because she was never tired when I needed her. And so many people are too tired to help him. And they will think that their little girl has fallen if I show them what little strength I have right now.

So every morning I wake up, and remind myself that all I need is just a little more patience. Patience is the key to my existence right now. Patience keeps me strong. Patience keeps me sane. Patience keeps me happy. And if I just keep reminding myself to be patient then I know that at the end of it all, she, and he, and they will let me take a nap. And even if I only get a short one, they will be worth it. Because I know that I can't survive right now without her and him and them. So I stay awake for them.

Labels: Guy #6, Parental Units, Top Secret

1. Ran into ex-boyfriend while he was on date. Awkward.

2. Ran into girlfriend of Guy #6. She gave me the evil eye all night.

3. Watched a guy with a lazy eye try to hit on my friend.

4. Watched husband of other friend imitate guy with lazy eye.

5. Watched drunk guy dance like a fool and make an attempt at singing. (Note: he was friends with Mr. Lazy eye)

6. Got free shots from bar manager.

7. Ran into friend of Guy #6, who assumed that I was still hanging out with Guy #6. She proceeded to ask me questions about Guy #6 all night.

8. Went to different bar.

9. Mr. Lazy Eye and drunk friend showed up 10 minutes later.

10. Gross 40 year old man kept trying to flirt with me. Blah.

11. REALLY gross, curly-white-hair, old, mullet man told me I was pretty and asked me if he could sit next to me. Double blah.

12. I told gross mullet man that I was saving seat for Mr. Lazy Eye.

13. Good looking boy and I start talking while the song, "The Humpty Dance" is playing in the background.

14. Good looking boy and I talk about how much we love this song.

15. Good looking boy and I keep talking.

16. I find out Good looking boy lives down the street from me.

17. And is an Architect.

18. Good looking boy talks about how he loves to buy nice purses for his girlfriends.

19. I fall in love with good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy.

20. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy gets my number.

21. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy leaves.

22. Really drunk 30 year old man sits down next to me and tries to convince me to go to IHOP with him.

23. After I decline invitation, 30 year old drunk man asks for my number.

24. After I refuse to give him my number, 30 year old drunk man tries to kiss me.

25. After I back away, 30 year old drunk guy tells me I'm a slut.

26. I laugh.

27. Mr. Lazy Eye leaves.

28. Friend leaves.

29. I leave.

30. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying boy calls me.

31. Am on my way to watch movie with him right now.

Labels: Guy #6, Randomness, Tequila

Here's a list of some guys that are in my life in one way or another:

1. Hot guy that I talk to daily: He's married and he hits on me everyday. If it wasn't for the fact that he's hot (yes, I'm shallow like that) I'd be totally disgusted with his antics. Needless to say, he's unavailable and I won't do anything more with him, other than shoot the shit.

2. Other guy that I talk to daily: He's married too! And he hits on me too!!! More aggressively than guy #1, I might add. But we've been friends for awhile now, so I usually just ignore the come-ons and continue to be his friend. So guy#2 is also on my off-limits list.

3. Guy I talk to a few times a week and hang out with once a week: We mesh. In fact, we mesh quite well. He always makes me laugh (very important), he's smart, he's random/silly (also very important), and he's sarcastic. Perfect, right? I love him to pieces but I'm not attracted to him. Nor is he to me, so actually, that works out.

4. Best friend from high school: This is the guy with whom I have a marriage pact. You know the one... "If neither of us are married by the time we're like 800 years old, then let's marry each other." He called me last week to tell me that he's totally in love with this new girl and want's to have like 10 million babies with her. I'm totally happy for him, but there goes my back-up plan.

5. Nice guy interested in me: Other than the fact that he annoys me, he would be perfect husband material. (Good job, outgoing, same upbringing, respects women, easy on the eyes, yada yada yada...)

6. Hot guy with comfy bed: That's right, I said it...he has a comfy bed. Draw your own conclusions here. If you're lost, or that naive, then read this link. I don't have this guy's phone number. Nor does he have mine. We rely purely on the fact that my best friend's boyfriend is his best friend.

So I pose 2 questions for you:

1. Why are unavailable/annoying guys interested in me?

2. Why am I interested in the one guy that could care less about me? (i.e. guy #6)

So, God, here's what I ask from you: Please send me a boyfriend that I don't have to share with any other girls; that will make me laugh/smile; that is smart; that will call me, love me, adore me (and I with him); and is hot. Or make guy #6 fit the above listed qualifications. Oh yeah, and I'd also like world peace and a cure for cancer.

Love,
The Merry Widow

Labels: Guy #3, Guy #6

Before I got married, my husband and I went to Tiffany's to pick out wedding bands. I love the wedding band that we picked for me. It's simple, yet one of the most beautiful rings that I've ever seen. I kept wearing my ring after my husband died. I wore it for a year. One day someone asked me if I was ever going to start dating again. I answered yes. "So then why do you still wear your ring? Are you hiding behind it?" At first, I was offended. How dare she ask me why I was wearing my ring. Didn't she know that I loved my husband and would always love him and that this ring was a symbol of that love? But then, as I thought about it some more, I found validity in her question. Why was I wearing my ring? Was it to keep guys away? Was it because I was still holding on to my husband? Or was it because I just loved the ring? Well, I figured that it was probably a little of all 3. So the next week, I decided that in order to move on, I needed to stop wearing the ring...or at least switch it to my other hand. So I did. I wore my ring on my right hand. Then one day, I took it off for cooking purposes, and never really got around to putting it back on again.

Coincidentally, someone asked me out the day after I stopped wearing the ring all together.

It's now been about a year since I stopped wearing my ring, and about 2 years since my husband has died. I've "dated" a few people over the past year and have been, well... as my friend Laura puts it, "living the life of a cute, single, 20-something girl." Most people don't even believe me when I tell them that I'm a widow. "But you're so happy..." Well why wouldn't I be? Yeah, I loved my husband with my whole heart and soul and would do anything to have one more day with him, but if there's anything that I learned from his death, it's that life is short and I shouldn't spend my time dwelling on his death when there is a whole world out there for me to experience. So here I am...living life like the 20-something single girl that I am, but with the wisdom gained from watching your soul mate leave this world.

Which brings me back to my ring. I realized this past Friday, that even though I stopped wearing it, I never put it away. It sits on my bathroom counter, right next to my make-up. A reminder that I don't wear it, but that I once had great love. And I wondered to myself, why haven't I put this away? Why do I keep it out? Am I still holding on to my past?

So I put it on. Not on my wedding finger, but on my right hand. It's still one of the prettiest rings I've ever seen. I was dressing up that night, to go to a club downtown, so I thought that it sort of added some "bling" to my outfit. Anywho, to make a long story short, I ran into a guy that I've been, well...let's call it "getting close to" and well... we decided to "get close" that night. And in the morning, when I woke up, I noticed that I was wearing my ring. And I laughed. It was never the ring that was holding me back. It was just me.

Labels: Guy #6, Widowness