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Sunday, April 03, 2005

Live from Houston, Texas...IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

1. Ran into ex-boyfriend while he was on date. Awkward.

2. Ran into girlfriend of Guy #6. She gave me the evil eye all night.

3. Watched a guy with a lazy eye try to hit on my friend.

4. Watched husband of other friend imitate guy with lazy eye.

5. Watched drunk guy dance like a fool and make an attempt at singing. (Note: he was friends with Mr. Lazy eye)

6. Got free shots from bar manager.

7. Ran into friend of Guy #6, who assumed that I was still hanging out with Guy #6. She proceeded to ask me questions about Guy #6 all night.

8. Went to different bar.

9. Mr. Lazy Eye and drunk friend showed up 10 minutes later.

10. Gross 40 year old man kept trying to flirt with me. Blah.

11. REALLY gross, curly-white-hair, old, mullet man told me I was pretty and asked me if he could sit next to me. Double blah.

12. I told gross mullet man that I was saving seat for Mr. Lazy Eye.

13. Good looking boy and I start talking while the song, "The Humpty Dance" is playing in the background.

14. Good looking boy and I talk about how much we love this song.

15. Good looking boy and I keep talking.

16. I find out Good looking boy lives down the street from me.

17. And is an Architect.

18. Good looking boy talks about how he loves to buy nice purses for his girlfriends.

19. I fall in love with good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy.

20. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy gets my number.

21. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying-boy leaves.

22. Really drunk 30 year old man sits down next to me and tries to convince me to go to IHOP with him.

23. After I decline invitation, 30 year old drunk man asks for my number.

24. After I refuse to give him my number, 30 year old drunk man tries to kiss me.

25. After I back away, 30 year old drunk guy tells me I'm a slut.

26. I laugh.

27. Mr. Lazy Eye leaves.

28. Friend leaves.

29. I leave.

30. Good-looking-architect-purse-buying boy calls me.

31. Am on my way to watch movie with him right now.

Labels: , ,

posted by The Merry Widow at 9:26 PM |


Commented by Blogger Darbi:

Oh my god that cracks me up! Sounds like a night or two that I've had. We really need to go out sometime - with or without boys.

April 03, 2005 11:15 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Di:

Have fun!

Afterall, the humpty dance is your chance...

April 04, 2005 8:27 AM 
Commented by Anonymous guy #3:

31 steps to a merry widow.

April 04, 2005 9:22 AM 
Commented by Anonymous mrtl:

You go girl! Have fun with architect purse buying boy.

Once upon a time when I used to go to bars, my friends and I would adopt foreign personas to ward off the mulleted, smelly, weird-looking and creepy guys. Note to self: The Australian persona is not as effective as the Portuguese persona. Australian crocodile-wrestling chicks who are flying out tomorrow are really attractive to mulletted, tank top wearing guys (who get even more excited when they run into you at the same bar the following weekend and think you've delayed your visit... for him).

April 04, 2005 10:13 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

First: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited and can not wait for the update.

second: Talk about tampons to get rid of unwanted men.

"So Tina, do you use the tampons with the applicator or the ones without? I don't like the ones without because then you get that blood all over..."

They leave...REALLY FAST!

April 04, 2005 10:35 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

To Mrtl and Kristine:

I'm gonna totally try both of those tactics next time I go out!!!

One time I pretended like I was an Olympic Skeet Shooter from Utah. So I obviously couldn't go out with the gross guy trying to pick me up because I had to get back to my ranch in Utah to practice.

April 04, 2005 1:58 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

You go girl! That is freakin awesome! You must give more details!

April 04, 2005 3:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:



*fingers crossed for ya*

Oh, one line I used to get rid on an unwanted guy was:

"if you dance with me, you're gonna havta marry me!"

Of course, that may only work on 22 yr olds.

April 04, 2005 9:07 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

update!! UPDATE!!!

April 06, 2005 11:01 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Since April 2...

Calls received: 8
Text messages recieved: 37
Movies watched: 2
Compliments received that made me melt: 12
Kisses: I don't kiss and tell! (5)

April 06, 2005 6:53 PM 
Commented by Blogger kAy:

this was hilarious!
really enjoyed it :)

April 09, 2005 6:14 AM 

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