I have been in a very grumpy mood. And before you ask, no, it is not that time of the month, thank you very much. I just need to make some changes in my life that include the following:
1. Don't put up with people who don't appreciate me. I don't care if you're my boyfriend. If you don't appreciate everything I do, then I will kindly escort you out the door. (But with attitude.)
2. Get a new job, closer to home, that pays more than what I make now.
3. Get a maid. (I'm looking at you, Guy #6.)
4. Win the lottery. And I don't mean winning $2 from a scratch-off. I want at least $50,000 (after taxes.) Is that asking for too much? I didn't even ask for a million dollars, people.
5. Go on vacation. Any location in Texas does not count. Oh, and said vacation must include at least 3 nights in a hotel.
6. Get a tan during above mentioned vacation.
The end.
Labels: ANGER, Boys have cooties, Guy #6
I can't sleep with the TV on.
Why do you insist on watching it in our bedroom whenever I'm trying to go to bed? We have 2 TV's...go watch the other tv and let me sleep.
Did I mention that I have to wake up at 5:45 in the morning? Did I? DID I??? Every single freaking morning. Not sure if I've mentioned that to you. Every night. For the last year.
SO JUST TURN OFF THE DAMN TV ALREADY.
Before I decide to cancel the cable.
Labels: ANGER, Boys have cooties, Guy #6
Today I told someone that guys are the reason why girls go psycho.
That person, in turn, told me that guys don't make girls psycho -- girls are just plain pyscho.
I then eloquenlty replied, "Nuh-uh!!!"
I'm pretty sure I won that argument.
Labels: Anything you can do I can do better..., Boys have cooties
Is it bad that one's teeth are a major deal maker/breaker for me?
I was hanging out with a really cool guy last night. But everytime he smiled big, I couldn't stop staring at his missing tooth. It wasn't even one of the front teeth, or even a tooth near the middle, for that matter. It was like the 2nd to last molar. But still, I could see that it was missing and it grossed me out.
About a year ago, I was dating a guy that I like to affectionately call "asshole with small dick." I remember thinking, during one of our early make-out sessions, that I had yet to get a good look at his teeth. I freaked out. "What if his teeth are gross, and yellow, and scuzzy, and crooked?" I thought to myself as his tongue was examining my tonsils. So I did what any sane, logical, college educated girl would do. I stopped kissing him and asked him if I could see his teeth. (And you wonder why I have such trouble find a guy....) Anyway, he actually didn't see anything wrong with this request, showed me his teeth, and then asked to see mine. And after we both were satisfied with what we saw (he actually had perfect teeth) we went back to making out. And you wonder why we didn't last!
I once told my friend, Laura, that I would divorce someone if their teeth fell out.* I explained to her that I just couldn't be with someone who could not properly keep up with their dental hygene. I mean, if they can't take 5 minutes out of their day to brush and floss, then how can I expect them to take proper care of me? (*Note: If teeth fall out due to getting knocked out (i.e. fight, car accident, etc.) then this is acceptable as long as tooth/teeth in question get fixed and/or replaced.)
The moral of the story? You should brush and floss. Daily. Oh yeah, and also I'm psycho and shallow.
Labels: Boys have cooties, Yes I'm shallow...get over it
