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Sunday, March 06, 2005

Everybody say Cheese!!!

Is it bad that one's teeth are a major deal maker/breaker for me?

I was hanging out with a really cool guy last night. But everytime he smiled big, I couldn't stop staring at his missing tooth. It wasn't even one of the front teeth, or even a tooth near the middle, for that matter. It was like the 2nd to last molar. But still, I could see that it was missing and it grossed me out.

About a year ago, I was dating a guy that I like to affectionately call "asshole with small dick." I remember thinking, during one of our early make-out sessions, that I had yet to get a good look at his teeth. I freaked out. "What if his teeth are gross, and yellow, and scuzzy, and crooked?" I thought to myself as his tongue was examining my tonsils. So I did what any sane, logical, college educated girl would do. I stopped kissing him and asked him if I could see his teeth. (And you wonder why I have such trouble find a guy....) Anyway, he actually didn't see anything wrong with this request, showed me his teeth, and then asked to see mine. And after we both were satisfied with what we saw (he actually had perfect teeth) we went back to making out. And you wonder why we didn't last!

I once told my friend, Laura, that I would divorce someone if their teeth fell out.* I explained to her that I just couldn't be with someone who could not properly keep up with their dental hygene. I mean, if they can't take 5 minutes out of their day to brush and floss, then how can I expect them to take proper care of me? (*Note: If teeth fall out due to getting knocked out (i.e. fight, car accident, etc.) then this is acceptable as long as tooth/teeth in question get fixed and/or replaced.)

The moral of the story? You should brush and floss. Daily. Oh yeah, and also I'm psycho and shallow.

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posted by The Merry Widow at 5:31 PM |


Commented by Blogger Tuesday Girl:

I get it. I once broke up witha guy because I would never marry a man with his hands. They were small & wet. yuk.

March 07, 2005 8:54 AM 
Commented by Blogger Bitchkateers Unite!:

My ex had bad teeth. I will never do that again. It totally is a dealbreaker for me. Their mouths taste like yuck anyway. Gross to think about swapping spit with Mr. Food Particle Plaqueman.

Well that and a small dick. Small dicks will never work for me. No matter how great their hands are. Mainly because they always seem to overcompensate for their shortcomings by being a total jackhole. Like overly bragging about stuff.


March 07, 2005 2:16 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Laura:

Pyscho yes...shallow no.

March 07, 2005 3:27 PM 

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