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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

Here's the deal: It's time for me to buckle down and start losing weight again. Last year, I lost about 30 pounds and have actually done ok keeping it off. It wasn't until the last 3 months or so that I put 10 of those pounds back on. So all in all, I think I'm doing ok. But I'd still like to lose about a million more pounds. (Give or take 5 pounds.)

But the food. The glorious, yummy, delicious, oh-so-decadent food. I can't keep my mouth away. Solution? Exercise, dammit. Ha! Yeah, right. But alas, it's what must be done if I want to lose the weight. That's how I did it before, so I know that I can do it again. But this is coming from the girl who HATES running. In high school, I used to play Varsity Lacrosse and soccer and I would say things like, "Hey! Wouldn't this game be way more fun if we didn't have to run so much?" And that was when I was in shape. So you can imagine how hard it is for me to get my Jabba the Hutt ass off the couch and onto the pavement. Not to mention that it's like 8 million degrees outside, on a cool day, with 3000% humidity. Gotta love the Houston summers. But really, I have no excuses. I have a gym membership, so if the heat is really getting to me that much, then I can just go there and hit the treadmill. But gosh darnit, someone brought doughnuts in this morning and they are happily sitting right outside my office yelling, "Merry Widoooooooow....coooooome and eeeeeeeeaaaaat meeeeeeee...I'm covered in chooooooocoooooolaaaaaaate!!!"

But back to business. I figure if I write/type this stuff out, then I'll actually get it done. It's how I work. Want me to get something done? Make me write it down. Wanna know why? Because I'm anal and may or may not have slight OCD tendencies. As a result, I love love love to make everything into a list and then get great joy out of scratching things off of my list. Sometimes I even make lists of things I've already accomplished, just so I can scratch them off. (I've even gone so far as to make a list of all the lists I need to make. But I digress....) If I tell people that I'm exercising, then I'll actually have to follow through and really actually exercise. I'm not gonna write my new exercise routine here, because it's gonna change (i.e. get harder) the more in shape I become. But trust me, I've already made up an exercise list in my PDA that involves the following daily activities: running, sit ups (real ones, not crunches), push ups, and leg lifts. This will be my core list of exercise activities that may or may not be interspersed with some classes at the gym (kick-boxing, yoga, pilates.)

So if you were to meet me today, you might see somthing like this (but wearing a tiara):

But soon, I'll be looking like this (but still wearing a tiara and with smaller boobs):

But first I'm gonna go eat one of those doughnuts. My diet/exercise routine will start after lunch.

Editor's Note: If anyone needs help getting inspired with their diet/exercise regime, then I suggest reading Daze Of My Life's Blog. I don't know where she finds the will power to stay on track!

posted by The Merry Widow at 9:58 AM |


Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:

You do not look like Jabba.

Also will you tell some idiot to stop bringing the damn donuts? The Hubs keeps eating them and I'm gonna have to kick ass.

June 14, 2005 12:07 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:

mmmmmmmmm doughnuts...

June 14, 2005 2:06 PM 
Commented by Blogger Defective Writer:

I told you those doughnuts were evil! I can hear them all the way from here. I have managed to stay away from them today, but the burger I had for lunch was probably not in accordance with the whole "eating right" thing.

So, I have an idea. Maybe we could help each other out? Maybe do like a daily check in? Me: Did you run last night? You: Did you avoid evil (insert sugar, fatty food here) today? And so forth. Or something like that.

BTW, "...slight OCD tendencies"?? Well, at least your not like that other person we both know.

June 14, 2005 3:00 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

SJ: THANK YOU! Just for telling me that I don't look like Jabba, you've become my new best friend. And your hubs is one of the people who makes people bring doughnuts!!! I love him and hate him at the same time for that. :-)

Madmanan: Drool, I know.

DW: I NEVER said that doughnuts were evil. That's a sacreligeous thing to say. But, I'll have you know that actually ran 2 miles last night, had a tuna fish sandwhich for lunch on whole wheat pita and NO MAYO. AND, to top it all off, I never did eat that doughnut. SJ's hubs got to them before I could. Hehehe. And don't make fun of my slight (yes, they are slight) OCD tendencies. You should remind the voices in your head not to make fun of people also. ;-)

But on another note, I thank you, DW, for your idea. But if you keep "checking in" to see if I've been running, then I'll feel like you're nagging me (even though I know you aren't) which will make me wanna stop the whole thing all together. I have to be able to do this thing on my own, and not because someone else is checking in on me. I work better that way. But if you want, I can still be your food nazi. Deal?

June 14, 2005 3:44 PM 
Commented by Blogger Defective Writer:

The voices in my head had nothing to do with today's comment. Just figured I owed you one for the weird comment from ealier.

It maybe sacreligous, but I retain my opinion on doughnuts.

As for the food nazi... If it's a one way street then I would feel like you're nagging me, even though... Then I would become annoyed in general.

I actually keep a list of all I eat during the day in my planner. If what I eat is in writing, then I can't lie to myself about it. I really only have issues when my hubby's home. Can't explain why he makes me lose all will power, but alas, he does.

June 14, 2005 4:23 PM 
Commented by Blogger what a life:

I hear you girl. The pan dulce in all the little bakeries call my name and how rude would I be if I didn't answer. It's damn hot here, like 10 million degrees but we don't have the wonderful humidity of south Texas. I keep thinking I should go exercise but why do that when I can lay on the couch? Maybe if you do it, then I'll be inspired. Or maybe not. Good luck!

June 14, 2005 4:25 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

What a Life: I hear ya on that one. The thing is that food doesn't become a problem for me, as long as I exercise. When I start to get into shape, it doesn't really matter what, or how much I eat because my metabolism gets boosted. It's just hard to get motivated to get started.

June 14, 2005 4:44 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:

I am exactly where you are too. Except I don't have the gym membership. I also just finished a box of Timbits. Dammit!

(Timbits=doughnut holes)

June 14, 2005 5:42 PM 
Commented by Blogger Caroline:

I'm TOTALLY the same way with lists. And you had me cracking up for a good five minutes with the before and after pictures.

June 14, 2005 5:53 PM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:

which pda do you have?

June 14, 2005 6:10 PM 
Commented by Anonymous sarah:

I have nothing to add about the exercising... I'm currently working on how to come up with a plan myself. BUT! I just wanted to tell you that I have also included completed tasks on a list just so I could cross them off! I thought I was the only one!

June 14, 2005 6:17 PM 
Commented by Blogger Caroline:

Big Heavy - I have public makeout sessions, but I'd like a Sony. And you?

June 14, 2005 6:25 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Krankipantzen: Lol! Thanks for the timbits translation. That's a new one for me. You know, I don't think that eating doughnut holes is all that bad, they're like diet doughnuts, being that they're so small and all.

Caroline & Sarah: I'm glad I'm not the only one with lists!!! I knew I was normal!

BH: I have a Sony Clie. It's about a year and a half old, but I love it. Do you have a PDA?

Caroline: LOL on the public makeout sessions!

June 15, 2005 12:12 AM 
Commented by Blogger some girl:

MW! Back from Houston. Thank god it's not nearly that hot/humid in Boston (51 and cloudy).

I just got myself back to the gym and I am thinking about taking up residence on the bike. My goal is to lose 30 pounds by the end of the year. By I refuse to change my eating habit. Oh well.

June 15, 2005 8:51 AM 
Commented by Blogger Valerie:

Man, I totally hear you. I'm trying to work out at least three times a week. I only managed twice last week and I have been under the weather this week, so today will be my first day. Blah.

It's the Mexican food that gets me. I love queso! And wine! And ice cream!

Yeah -- it's all that damn food.

June 15, 2005 9:18 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

I so need to be doing this..I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF get up though. I LOVE food..yummy!

June 15, 2005 9:31 AM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:

Food is just SO GOOD. So TEMPTING! Cant...Stop..EATING!

ANd I am sure you look Fab.

June 15, 2005 10:21 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

Jabba's weight is my goal weight on this diet. If I can look as good as Jabba, i'm on the right path!!

June 15, 2005 11:21 AM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:

My husband is a bitch. If you see him going for the donut, ask him if his wife would approve. Then kick his ass for me.

Also? Ask how much "sympathy" weight he gained with ellie.

June 15, 2005 11:41 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:

Might I suggest my diets? I have two.

The first one is that you drink a LOT of vodka and get really, really, really drunk. Then you're soooooo hungover, you can't eat for three days. You're bound to lose at least 5-7 pounds on that one.

The second is that you get a divorce and become a lesbian. Of course, this one is a BIT complicated and only really crazy people do it, but it does work. I went from a size 10-12 to a size 4-6 in less than six months.

June 15, 2005 12:48 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Some Girl: Welcome back home!!! Did you die in our humidity down here? I'm jealous of your cool weather up in Bean Town.

Valerie: I'm with you on the Mexican food. It's so hard to get motivated to exercise, isn't it? It's like "Queso? Or Running? Queso? Or Running? Maybe I'll just eat a little queso before I run." Ha! You know that never works.

Mrs. Pissy: I can't get up either! Although for me it's because I went for a nice bike ride yesterday and now my butt hurts.

Jessie: Awwww, shucks. Thanks for saying I look fab. But really, it's just my tiara.

Kristine: LOL!!! You so don't even come close to looking like Jabba. We've all seen your picture...you already look fabulous!

SJ: AWESOME! I'm totally gonna kick hubs's ass, just cuz you said I could. No mercy! I'll consider it part of my exercise regime. Ha! I think he told me how much sympathy weight he gained with you last time. I don't remember the number, but I remember it was high. That boy can eat, can't he!?!

RSG:I like your Vodka diet plan? I think I might already well on my way with that one. Red Bull and Vodka has been my new poison of choice. As for the divorce/lesbian diet, well...I'll have to think about that one. ;)
Can I do a break-up/non-lesbian diet instead? The only problem with that is that I can't find someone to break up with because I'm too damn fat!

June 15, 2005 2:07 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

Honey, they don't make underwear big enough to house the problem I have going on.

June 15, 2005 2:36 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:

yea, like RSG said, stick to the liquid diet ;)

June 15, 2005 3:01 PM 
Commented by Blogger LeaLea:

I am with you Merry..Since late April I have lost 9 lbs..and want to lose 10 more.. my night time snacks are sometimes lucky charms with skim milk..lol, fruit..or Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Popcorn (regular or kettle corn flavor are both low fat)...

June 15, 2005 7:06 PM 
Commented by Blogger Old woman:

Just don't worry about being fat - I've ALWAYS been fat, never had a lack of men who wanted me - if you've got "it," you've got "it." (I'm not sure what "it" is, but I used to have it). Don't worry about the body. I really enjoy your website. Found you through Sue and Charlotte's excellent adventures. I'm glad I did.

June 15, 2005 10:44 PM 
Commented by Blogger Dazed:

Ah, MW you are too kind!!!
Thanks for the comments, they keep me inspired!
If you look like Jabba then I def. look like the staypufft marshmellow man from ghostbusters!!!!!

June 16, 2005 11:03 AM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:

Okay, who told The Hubs I called him a bitch?????

June 16, 2005 11:16 AM 
Commented by Blogger SoozieQ:

I feel like your post today was just for me....I just joined a gym and have been "working out" every night this week after work (IF you can call 30 mins on a stationary bike a workout). I have to lose 25 lbs of steroid fat (my 'roids are not the same as Barry Bonds 'roids) and I'm sitting here eating Salt & Vinegar Pringles..GAH! I need some willpower. Perhaps writing about my goal will help me stick to it too? Probably not, but it's worth a shot. Thank you Merry Widow for bringing the ugliness call my ass, to the light of day! Now that I've polished off the rest of those chips I can really get serious *snort*

June 16, 2005 7:19 PM 
Commented by Blogger -----------------------------------------:

I thought the doughnuts only sang to me... glad I'm not alone! ;)

June 18, 2005 9:02 AM 

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