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Sunday, May 29, 2005

My liver loves me.

Guy #6 got mad at his best friend because he heard a rumor that his best friend "took me home." Here's my drunk list of reasons why that is absurd:

1.) I don't go home with with guys. I'm just not that kind of girl. Besides, at this moment I only have eyes for Guy #6. Not his best friend.

2.) Guy #6 has a girlfriend. Why is he getting mad?

3.) Why do I care???

4.) Why do I want Guy #6 to want me?

5.) I am drunk as I type this. Very drunk. Very very drunk. Under sober circumstances I wouldn't care enough to blog this crap.

6.) I met Guy #3's best friend tonight. LOVE HER!!!

7.) I feel the need to make this list long.

8.) I am quasi upset with one of my best friends for not calling me tonight.

9.) But I told everyone else that I didn't care.

10.) But really I do. She's been blowing me off lately and I don't like it. That's not how you should treat friends, especially one as awesome as I am.

11.) Did I mention that I'm drunk? Really really really drunk.

12.) Woo Woo!

13.) My car was left at the bar. I'm glad that I have friends who care enough to take my keys and drive me home.

14.) I hope that those same friends love me enough to take me back to my car tomorrow.

15.) This might be the dumbest blog ever. But I'm drunk right now, so I don't care.

16.) I wish that Guy #6 would hurry up and dump his girlfriend so that I could make my move.

17.) I hope that when Guy #3 gets married, we remain friends.

18.) I hope that I'm not hungover tomorrow.

19.) Please disregard any drunk phone calls that I make tonight. Especially if they are to boys.

20.) Please take my phone away from me before I make any more calls.

Must go lie down and/or throw up and/or just sleep. But first the room must stop spinning.



This is the image that came up in google when I typed in "Woo Woo." Whomever is in charge of google images must me drunker than I am. Woo woo!!!

posted by The Merry Widow at 3:25 AM |

22 Comments:

Commented by Blogger Valerie:


This made me laugh out loud. I hope you aren't hungover, because then it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

The google thing is hilarious. Have you ever done this search? Type in "Your name is" and search. When I typed "Valerie is" I got some funny stuff, including an android for sell.


May 29, 2005 9:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pink Stiletto:


You are the coolest. I wish I could go drinking with you.

Were you hungover in the end?


May 29, 2005 11:48 AM 
Commented by Blogger little sister:


Please don't get drunk and blog again...I'm using a public computer for now, and everyone is pissed at me for laughing so fucking much!

Sounds like the way I get...especially with the phone and calling guys. I've gotten some cell phone bills listing a lot of calls I made that I don't remember.

Hope you didn't have a hangover, that would so suck.


May 29, 2005 11:55 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Darbi's Roomie:


I always send ex-boyfriend a drunken email when I am this drunk, except for this past drunken episode on Friday. Instead I invited my Pizza Boy (remind me to tell you about him sometime-yummy, yummy!) over. Had a nice time, just wish I could remember more of it.

Take some tylenol, eat a greasy burger and you'll be just fine.


May 29, 2005 1:20 PM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:


woo woo!


May 29, 2005 1:59 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:


OH NO! Drunken phone hijinks. Did you refrain or was the drunken pull too much?


May 29, 2005 5:51 PM 
Commented by Blogger Meridita:


I'm very impressed with the drunken typing. I'm sure I cannot compose sentences nearly as well as you when I'm drunk! Hope ya didn't have a hangover!! : )


May 29, 2005 6:49 PM 
Commented by Blogger ERL:


that is AWESOME that that picture came up in google. HILARIOUS!!


May 29, 2005 10:49 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


JUST PLEASE TAKE ME PHONE AWAY WHEN I AM DRUNK!

I hate those next day phone calls, "Uh, Kristine...you remember calling me last night?"

It's never a pleasant conversation either.
"YOU SUCK! DID YOU HEAR ME? YOU SUCK! IF YOU WERE A REAL FRIEND YOU WOULD BE HERE DRINKING WITH ME!
OOoooh, I like her shirt. You think she'll let me wear it if I ask her real nice?"

I'm an idiot when i'm drunk. Please, just take away my phone.

I actually called myself one time and left the stupid message where I forgot WHO I called.

I bitched myself out for not coming down and drinking with myself.


May 30, 2005 1:53 AM 
Commented by Blogger Bella Muneca:


Hi, this is my first comment though I've been reading for a bit now.

That was hilarious and brings back memories. I'm good for calling exes when I'm drunk (I stay good friends with them) so I always write down their numbers and delete them out of my cell phone when I know I'm in for a night of drinking.


May 30, 2005 7:58 AM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:


Love it. I have made a few posts while drunk. Typing while loaded is no small feat. Congrats! I also have a habit of sending emails I shouldnt whilst drunk. Doh


May 30, 2005 2:16 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:


MERRY WIDOW...oh, sorry, didn't mean to shout; how's your head?

Merry Widow, darling. It's one thing to "drink and dial," but you, my dear, have taken that to new heights.

You should maybe put a warning on your blog; "The author of this on-line publication has been known to 'drink and blog,' read at your own risk."


May 30, 2005 9:44 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Hope you are doing better MW! I missed your crazy ass!


May 31, 2005 9:53 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


LOL!!! I was just talking to The Defective Writer on the phone and she was all, "I liked your blog entry from this weekend." And I was like, "What blog entry?" So needless to say I had a great time and I don't remember most of it. But no hangover for me!!!!!!!!! I woke up the next day, Guy #3 picked me up so that he could take me back to my car that I had left at the bar, and I went out drinking again from there. I figured that the best way to honor those who died serving our nation (for Memorial Day) was for me to get drunk. Woo Woo!!!

Valerie: I typed in my real name in Google and didn't get anything too interesting, but when I typed in "The Merry Widow" I found out that this is also the name of a type of tulip, a cocktail, and a corset. Oh, and also a hat. (A big gignatic frilly one with feathers.) Neat, huh?

Darbi's Roomie: I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE PIZZA BOY!!!


May 31, 2005 11:04 AM 
Commented by Blogger some girl:


Hi- I have been reading your blog for a while and the time has come for me to comment and question. Love your drunken escapades. Okay, and now the question. I am going to go visit THE BOY in Houston next week. He's going to be working during the day and I need advice on where to go and what to do. I am a hard core shopper from Boston and have access to his car (He's letting me take the car! Huge.). I already asked him and his answers were no good, I think they included a suggestion to not shop. Bah.


June 01, 2005 9:16 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Hi Lydia! Nice to hear from you!!! I tried to get to your blog, but blogger won't let me in, so I'll just answer you here. So what kind of shopping do you like? Bargain, name-brand, unique/boutique items? There are so many possibilities...The Galleria is always a good start, but if you're looking for some unique upscale sorts of stuff, then I would suggest The Heights or some of the shops in Rice Village.

As for things to do...well, depends on what interestes you. You can go to the Kemah boardwalk, which is right on the gulf coast and has lots of neat restaurants and boardwalk like activities. Astro-World is fun, if you like amusement parks and we have a few nice museums and shows going in the theater district. It's also sorta neat to take a tour at NASA or just drive down to Galveston.

Any other suggestions from my H-Town friends???


June 01, 2005 10:09 AM 
Commented by Blogger Darbi:


My first thought is - good luck with the Houston traffic!! If you like museums I'd recommend just parking someplace in the district and hitting the Museum of Fine Arts, the Museum of Natural Science, and the Holocaust museum - some of my favorites down in Houston - on FOOT.
I'll keep thinking ... maybe I'll come up with another idea or two...


June 01, 2005 2:15 PM 
Commented by Blogger some girl:


Thanks, yo! I will def. check out the Natural History Museum, those are usually my favs. I also like the NASA suggestion. Good stuff. As for shopping, yes upscale and/or unique. I mean why roll up to Old Navy (I mean I love Old Navy and all) when I can do that here. I love funky t-shirts and accessories, especially bags.


June 01, 2005 4:18 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:


Dear Ma'am,

The blogging establishing kindly requests that you update your blog. It's not that your last post isn't amusing as all get out, but Woo Woo Gary is really starting to creep us out.

Thank you for your consideration.


June 06, 2005 12:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:


M.Wid!

Life is sucking at the moment! People are being jerks! I am heart broken! I need some of your positive energy!! Your amazing attitude! How do you do it lady! Drop me a line sometime!

J.bo (Hornblower)


June 06, 2005 10:04 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Guy #3:


mrtl,
She might kill you for calling her ma'am. Just a heads up.


June 06, 2005 1:43 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:


Garcon Trois,

If all the cheese-eating high school boys can get away with calling me ma'am, then I'm going to bring down all the biznitches with me. Girls gotta stick together, you know.

Besides, she'd have to come out of hiding to kill me, so either way I've succeeded, right? RIGHT?


June 06, 2005 7:29 PM 

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