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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Forever Young

So a certain someone that I know (read: Guy #3) does something that really really annoys me. He calls me "Ma'am." I HATE THAT. Why? Because, in my mind, that's what you call your elders - the old ladies at the library desk who look down at you from behind their reading glasses...the church ladies selling coffee and lemon bars after mass...Mrs. Garrett from "Facts of Life." You know old ladies. I am not old. I'm 28. I don't feel any differently than I did when I was 27. And when I turned 27, I didn't feel any differently than I did when I was 26. And when I turned 26, I didn't feel any differently than I did when I was 25...and so on and so on. You get the point. Now, this isn't to say that I haven't, like, totally matured or gained a teeny bit more wisdom since my earlier years of life, but all in all, I feel the same. So when Guy #3 (or mrtl - Hi, mrtl! Yes, you succeeded in making me come out of hiding) call me the name assigned to old ladies, my panties get all bunched up in a wad. (Sidenote: I won't make any derogatory remarks as to why Guy #3 calls me ma'am. You know, like it's because he's jealous that I'm older than him because he's only 12 and has yet to go through pubery. Nope..I won't stoop to his childish behavior like that.)

Anyway, with all of my thoughts focused on age, I started wondering: Why don't I want to be old? Is it the wrinkles? Is it the sagging boobs? (FYI: I don't have to worry about that one - itty bitty titties do have their pluses.) Maybe it's the...um...what's that word again??? Oh yeah, memory loss. Nah. I don't think that I have to worry about any of these things just yet. And even if they do happen to me, which they won't, I really won't care. Or, at least, I won't remember to care. But what I will care about is losing my mental youth. I want to be forever young at heart. (Insert Rod Stewart song here.)

I know a few people who "act old." For example, I know a lady who is just a few years younger than my mother, but she acts as if she's 100. (Note: My mama just turned 49.) She complains about "being old" all the freakin time. "My eye sight is going...my bones hurt...I can't remember anything...I'm tired." OK, Whiney McWhinerson, I get the point. You're old. You deserve the official title of Ma'am. But as she drones on and on about "being old" I always think to myself, "Sheesh, Whiney McWhinerson, why do you act so old? You're only a few years younger than my parents and they don't act old at all." So I came to the following conclusions:

1.) My family is AWESOME.
2.) My family is young at heart.

This, intermanet, is the secret to keeping all of those old timer symptoms at bay. It's the fountain of youth, if you will. My family is the silliest group of people you'll ever meet. They play games, the tell jokes, they run, they skip, they laugh. My dad and I take every opportunity we can to jump on the bed. My mom and I never hesitate to tell each other jokes and laugh til we cry. My aunt and I spend time making up dances that look "crab-like" as my uncle and I look for fun food products that splat nicely when thrown at each other. Even my grandpa, who will be turning 80 this year, likes to climb trees with me. We are all young, despite what our birth certificates tell us. And I'm happy to report that every single one of us is a picture of perfect health. My mom is wrinkle free, my dad has low cholesterol and a good heart, my aunt remembers EVERYTHING, and my grandpa's bones don't hurt a bit. The young heart does not stay within, but manifests itself physically.

My Great Aunt died the night before last. She was one of my favorite aunts and I will miss her tremendously. She lived as a nun, in a small town called San Luis Potosi (in Mexico,) almost her entire life. And despite her pious way of living, her calm way of speaking, and the gentle way she would take my hand so that she could hold it, I remember her as always being young at heart. No one knows how old she was. She had to have been in her late 80's or early 90's by my guess, but no one really knows for sure. I remember asking her, last time I visitied her, "Tia, how old are you?" "I'm not telling, mijita." She said as she smiled. "If I tell anyone how old I am, then they might start treating me like an old lady." And then I laughed as a smirk formed on her face and she said, "But if you have to know, I'm only 18."

Don't you dare ever call her Ma'am.

posted by The Merry Widow at 12:50 PM |


Commented by Blogger madmanan:

sorry to hear about your loss. hope all is well.

June 07, 2005 6:52 PM 
Commented by Blogger LeaLea:

Loved this posting..my family is very young looking in general (good genes) and no one acts old. My grandparents are in their 80s and they have more social events to attend than anyone I know in their 30s! lol I love how your family sounds--i think it's how all should be.. I can't imagine ever becoming "older" so that I stop loving modern music etc..Just can't picture it..

June 07, 2005 7:15 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

Sorry about you Aunt MW...
I am so glad you are back..we missed your crazy ass.
I agree with you on the getting old thing. I am getting ready to turn 29..DO I FUCKING CARE? NO.
Don't care about 30 either. BRING IT THE FUCK ON.
40..that might bother me a little but I will just go have a face lift to make myself feel better.

June 07, 2005 8:11 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

I'd be jealous of your family, but you've already shown them for the private potty time invaders that they are.

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. 18 is so young.

June 07, 2005 8:37 PM 
Commented by Blogger KC:

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. I know exactly what you mean about feeling old. Both of my grandmothers are in their 80's. One of them sits around all the time complaining about how she hates her life, the other just got back from a cruise to Turkey and other eastern Mediterranian spots. Guess which one I hope I'll be like?

Oh yeah - I had to laugh about Whiney McWhinerson - when my son gets all poopy pants and whiney I call him Whiney McWhinesalot. When he's just plain rotten he gets to be Turd Ferguson.

June 07, 2005 9:20 PM 
Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:

Welcome back - I've missed you!

June 07, 2005 9:38 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:

Sorry about your aunt MW. You know what's funny? I had a great aunt who was a nun. Her name was Aunt Helen but her nun name was Sister Ricarda Mollenauer; she was a sister of mercy. She dies quite a while back.

Now your great aunt nun and my great aunt nun can hang out together.

June 07, 2005 10:33 PM 
Commented by Blogger Kate:

Very sorry to hear about your aunt. That was a lovely story though.

Just so you know I have the same reaction when I get "ma'm ed". I am only 26 and it makes me turn around to see who they are talking about. Take care =)

June 08, 2005 1:23 AM 
Commented by Blogger Defective Writer:

I'm really sorry about your aunt. And there I was with the "aunt smell alike" at Wendy's yesterday.

But hopefully last night "amplified" your young heart. I know it did mine!

Love you!!!

June 08, 2005 8:25 AM 
Commented by Blogger michaela:

you truly are as old as you feel. my parents are up and going constantly - laughing and carrying on like 20-somethings. my husband's parents are only 2 years older and have already made their funeral arranagements and act like they might die at any moment.

i'm sorry for your loss - she sounds like a wonderful woman.

June 08, 2005 11:03 AM 
Commented by Blogger Valerie:

I turned 29 this week and I was talking to a friend about how I don't feel old, but I know people my age who act soooo old. I had my 10-year reunion last summer and some of the people were so old. Or, they were very busy fighting age with their heavy makeup and fake boobs. I know they looked at me (single, living in an apartment, regular old job) as someone who wasn't "ahead" in life, but I looked at them and saw OLD!

"Time is not a time of life, it is a state of mind. People grow old only by deserting their ideas."

June 08, 2005 11:44 AM 
Commented by Blogger Candace:

I saw you on mrtl's comments and thought I'd come take a look.

"Whiney McWhinerson"...classic! So funny. When my kids whine, I say, "Sorry, I don't speak whinese!" (rhymes with Chinese)

There's a cute checker boy at my grocery store who makes eye contact with everyone and makes lovely chit-chat. He called me "miss" the other day, when everyone else calls me ma'am. I'm sure he did intentionally, and I don't care. He made me feel good and I wish they could accept tips!

June 08, 2005 12:40 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:

I am sorry about your aunt. She sounds like a really neat lady. My family is very young at heart too. It makes all the difference in the world.

June 08, 2005 4:35 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Thanks for your kind thoughts, everyone!!!

kc: "Turd Ferguson" LOVE THAT!!! I'm totally gonna start saying that.

RSL: You know that my great aunt nun (I call her the flying nun now) and your great aunt nun are totally chillin together right now. I hope they don't read our blogs though. ;-)

Misfit: "I don't speak Whinese." LOL! I'm gonna start using that one too.

June 08, 2005 11:43 PM 
Commented by Blogger Agent 99:

MW- you have no idea how much I enjoy reading your blog.

You are a truly gifted writer, and a sensitive soul. My condolences on you loss. Keep her in your heart, and she will never be far away.


June 09, 2005 8:55 AM 

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