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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

"...and when she woke up, she had wings and she flew away."

Dear you, (Yes, I'm talking to you. No, not you...YOU.)

I'm normally a very happy person. I know this. You know this. Work knows this. Family knows this. Friends know this. Blogland knows this. And I'm happy to report that my ray-o-sunshine attitude comes quite naturally. Yes, I really am, honest to God, genuinly happy. In fact, I'm sooooo wonderfully happy that I'm kinda surprised that deer and birds don't naturally flock to me like they did with Snow White. You know, because of the happpiness.

But every so often, believe it or not, I get a little sad. It doesn't happen all that often, and it never lingers for more than a few days, but still, it does happen. But the people around me are so accustomed to my smile, laugh, and overall good cheer, that when I do get sad, they freak out. And since I'm the highlight of most people's day, if they see me being sad, then their days are totally ruined. As a result, rather than openly display my sadness, I tend to just retreat and be a little less outgoing. This is usually interpreted as fatigue.

Here's an example from a real life conversation that I had last week:

Random friend of mine: "You seem out of it tonight. You know, like less talkative. I guess you must be tired."

What I want to say: "Actually, I'm focusing all of my energy into trying not to cry."

But I instead say: "Yes. I'm tired."

Anyway, today when I was telling you about the "flying nun," you did something that very few people allow me to do: You cried. And when you cried, it made it ok for me to cry. And there we were, crying like 2 fools, right smack dab in the middle of the room, right in broad daylight. And even though we both quickly dried our tears and laughed at ourselves for being so girly, that short 10 second cry comforted me.

And even though we were crying about the flying nun, I know that you really know the real reason why I've been so sad. I know that you know my secret, even though I've never actually spoken the words of my secret outloud to anyone because I won't even admit to myself that it's actually true. But you have this innate ability to read my thoughts and you always seem to know just the right time and the right way to make The Merry Widow merry when she's lost her merry way.

Thank you.

posted by The Merry Widow at 10:08 PM |


Commented by Blogger Darbi:

Awwwww...now you made ME cry! Damn it...

Chris and I have been spending our evenings in chairs out on the front lawn, chatting and watching the neighborhood kids go by - like a couple of old fogeys. Sometimes it's a little easier to be in your funk quietly with friends instead of out ... so if you ever decide you might need it, come on by! ...Or we'll drag the chairs over to your place...our neighborhood kids are gettin' kind of boring...

June 09, 2005 8:06 AM 
Commented by Blogger Nessa:

stop making me cry!!

June 09, 2005 9:49 AM 
Commented by Blogger little sister:

No fair making me cry, too. It's good to speak in code. I think telepathy occurs between/among certain people in our lives. And it's good when the other person understands what code to speak so you can let it out for 10 seconds.

I'm also about to cry because Blogger won't let me post anything except comments.

On another note, please send some merriness my way. Between Blogger and the chilled out Hot Prof...I'm losing it.

Thanks. - lil sis

June 09, 2005 4:11 PM 
Commented by Blogger Toady Joe:

Beautiful! And isn't that what friends are for? ((hugs))

June 09, 2005 4:12 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:

happy goes the lucky

June 11, 2005 2:37 AM 
Commented by Blogger Sue:

I love to cry--- anytime you want to have a cryfest online we can arrange it. My favorite thing to do is to rent really sad movies and cry all day long. Terms of Endearment, The Notebook, Steel Magnolias. It is easier than crying about what is really bothering you! Much blogging love....

June 11, 2005 10:44 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

first you make me cry and THEN you admit to having a secret you haven't told us?

Hmmmmm...a blogland mystery on our hands!

June 11, 2005 4:18 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

Yes, a blogger mystery is right. You are not allowed to make us cry and then tell us NOTHING.
We all have secrets..that should be our next thing for Stuff Portrait Friday..one of our biggest secerts..

June 12, 2005 7:55 PM 
Commented by Blogger Misty:

Merry Widow, Sister has suggested I read your Blog. Most excellent read. Secrets are like shoes stored very neatly in their boxes, in a locked closet. We choose, who knows and when we tell. I like that sense of control. I am in the process of cleaning out my closet on my Blog.

I love to cry. A good cry washes my soul clean. I hope you have good day.

June 13, 2005 9:05 AM 
Commented by Blogger Dazed:

I'm going to start crying if you dont start posting more often damnit.


June 13, 2005 2:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger Head of our pack...:

I don't like crying at all. But everyonce in a while I get to a period of time where it has been so long since I had a good cry and I find myself becoming teary and just needing to let it out.

I have had sporadic good cries, so I haven't needed a good cry in a while, which means to make me cry recently means that I was very touched by what I read/heard/saw.

A number of your posts have made me cry recently. Thank goodness I don't wear mascara. I really like your blog.

June 13, 2005 7:15 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

HeeHee! I didn't mean to make everyone cry! Just like The Life of Me said, I actually don't like crying either. I did enough of that in the past after my hubby died, so I'm pretty cried out. But, also like she said, everyonce in awhile I still need a good cry, just to get some stuff out.

Dazed: Sorry for not posting more often!!! I've been pretty boring lately...work, home, work, home, work, home...plus this Houston heat makes me unmotivated to do anything at all. But I've still been lurking on everyone else's blogs!!!

Kristine and Prissy: I don't have a secret...What secret? Unless you count that secret love child that I had with Brad Pitt. But I thought you guys already knew about that one. Hehehe...I love you guys.

June 14, 2005 9:57 AM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:

pssssssssst... where you at girlfriend? *snap* *snap* *snap*

June 14, 2005 1:02 PM 

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