What do you call someone who calls you past midnight, after a night of drinking, and asks you to come over?
Answer:
Guy #6Guy #6 (aka Hottie McHotterson) has been a "regular" in my night life since January of this year. Yes, he was put on the back burner for
Guy #5,
Architect-Purse Guy, and even
Asshole with small dick during the past year. And yes, I was put on hold for this
ho for awhile. But throughout the entire year, we've always been in touch, we've always hung out with the same group of friends, we've always been, how can I put it,
territorial of each other.
But lately Guy #6 has become more than a "regular" in my life. He has become a fixture. Since the beginning of August, we have been together almost every night. In fact, the only times that we haven't been together were when I was vacation, when he was on vacation, and for 2 days during
Rita-fest 2005.
And lately, our nights have incorporated more of the following activities:
1.) Watching movies that are not pornographic. (Not that I have EVER watched pornography - Merry Widow is an innocent girl.)
2.) Cuddling.
3.) Spooning.
4.)
TALKING.
Did you hear that? I said TALKING, people. WTF? If there's one qualification that I want in a booty call, it's
NOT talking. Talking scares me. Talking makes me like Guy #6 more. Talking makes me think that maybe he likes me more. Talking makes me want to get all domestic. You know, like cooking pot roasts, sewing my own curtains, and having 10 million of Guy #6's babies. This, in turn, makes me close up. "Don't open your heart, Merry Widow!" I tell myself. "Guy #6 is not good for you! He does not fulfill any of the qualifications listed
here."
And then you know what the bastard had the nerve to do? He called me like 800 times a day over the past week just to check up on me and make sure I was doing ok. He knew that
Hurricane-bitch-ass-ho-Rita was freaking me out. How dare he check up on me! Now I have to actually admit that I like him as more than a booty call! Now I have to stop acting like I don't care what he does!
Kristine told me the other day that her "booty call" guy actually had the nerve to move in with her and become like the bestest/dreamiest boyfriend ever. His name is
Shaun. Maybe you've heard of him. And you know what I say to that??? HELL NO! I don't want to have a bestest/dreamiest boyfriend ever!!! Because that would mean that I would no longer be lonely and I love being lonely! I want to be lonely forever!!!
OK, I gotta go now. I'm on my way to Guy #6's house. Damn him and his hotness.
Go Ahead, Share Your Thoughts! .
