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Monday, September 12, 2005

No, I'm not picky.

So here's the deal. I soooooooooo want to fall in love. I just can't find the right person with whom I shall fall. Yes, I'm having tons and tons and tons of fun with Hottie McHotterson, Guy #6, but unless he starts calling me before 10pm everynight, he hardly qualifies as a boyfriend, not to mention someone to whom I can present my heart. Booty call, he is, and no, I'm not complaining, but I'm definately ready for something a little deeper. I wouldn't mind if it was with him, but who am I kidding??? I'm probably better suited for someone who doesn't think that I'm "deprived" because I haven't seen the movie, "Bad Santa."

Guy #6: "You haven't seen 'Bad Santa'?"

Me: "Nope."

Guy #6: "You're deprived."

I've traveled all over the world, I've sky dived, I've been water rafting, I've learned 2 languages, I've learned how to dance the traditional dance of the Mexicans, I've earned a bachelor's degree, I've volunteered with kids with cancer, I've run in a 10K race, and now I'm gonna try to get into medical school. I'm the deprived one??? What have you done? Going to Austin last week doesn't count.

ANYWAY, I've come up with a list of qualities that I would like in a guy with whom I will fall in love.

WANTED:

22-35 year old male
At least 5'6"
Minimum education must include Bachelor's degree
Christianity a plus, but not a necessity as long as spiritual
Must know how to do the following things:
cook, clean, iron, vacuum, wash dishes, kill bugs, change oil, fix anything in my car, mow lawn, cuddle, make bed, have intelligent conversation, know how to admit that you're wrong, make me laugh, tell me I'm smart, tell me I'm beautiful, adore me, buy me purses, drive in a big city
Must also have passport for last minute trips to Mexico or any other part of the world
Must look like either Brad Pitt, Anderson Cooper, or Guy #6



Any takers???






posted by The Merry Widow at 3:02 AM |

24 Comments:

Commented by Blogger madmanan:


:( i thought you used hottie mchotterson just for me!! *sniff*

where do we apply for this position? ;)


September 12, 2005 12:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger Nessa:


I'd have to know what #6 looks like because Pitt & Cooper are on such opposite ends of the hottie spectrum (both hot, but in very different ways)...so, let me know - I may know some people that know some people.


September 12, 2005 1:39 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Anonymous:


OMG, You're an Anderson Cooper groupy too?

I can't believe another member of the club lives right down the street from me.

I could just look at him day and night, I don't care what he is reporting on, yummy.

Ok, I'm with you on this whole deal, I'm wanting a relationship too. In fact my "buddy" is getting peaved because I have been using avoidance tactics to stay out of his house and you have met him, so don't tell him. I'm ready for the real deal (not necessarily with him), none of this "we'll pretend" crap until something better comes along. I want to be wined and dined and I want flowers and shoes, buy me more shoes. Take me on vacation, treat me like a girlfriend damn it. I'm girlfriend worthy! I want it all, or I want nothing.

Carmilla


September 12, 2005 3:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger Fuzzball:


Babe, if you find him, see if he has a brother for me. *sigh*


September 12, 2005 4:35 PM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:


The Hubs was doing pretty well for your list until you got "drive in the big city."

Um. No. I haven't groped you in awhile. my hands feel lonley. Coffee?


September 12, 2005 4:59 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


You were trying to describe Shaun huh?
ADMIT IT! YOU WERE! You want someone to drive in the big city - SHAUN
You want a guy that will buy you purses - SHAUN
You want cuddles and making bed...and converasation - SHAUN

But then just when I thought I might scratch out your eyes...I saw you put in there "Change oil and fix anything in my car" and all was right with our friendship.

Boy can't figure out why when you push lever in, soapy water comes out. He thinks it fucking magic.
I told him that the 'check oil light' isn't a suggestion, it's a demand to go tell me...so *I* can fix it.


September 12, 2005 5:06 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Madmanan: You are the true Hottie McHotterson. I just have to call Guy #6 this to boost his male ego. Oh, and I accept all applications over dinner and drinks. Heehee!

Silly Nessa: That's funny that you ask...actually, Guy #6 doesn't look AT ALL like Brad or Anderson. He has dark hair, dark skin, and dark eyes. Contact your people for me!!!

Carmilla!!! Let's start a "I Heart Anderson Cooper" club. Isn't he just oh so dreamy? (Not as dreamy as Kristine's Shaun, of course, but dreamy nevertheless.) I've been an Anderson fan since he hosted "The Mole." Remember that show? OH and I totally totally hear ya on your man situation. It's kinda neat knowing that someone I know in real life is in the same boat as I am. We should start a second club called the "I'm tired of being your booty call unless you start treating me like a queen" club. We can have meetings for both clubs on the same night and drink lots and lots of wine. Darbi and Nekkid Tater can come too, just for giggles.

Fuzzball: Maybe we can find twins!

SJ: Yeah, I tried to hit on your hubs, but he told me that you called first dibs on me. And yes on the coffee! It's been way too long since you've felt me up. I'll send you an email sometime this week.

Kristine: You better keep a tight grip on Shaun. I am so going after him, after RSG is done with him. I'm gonna start a third club called the "I think Shaun is oh-so-dreamy" club. Feel free to join. But I get to be president.


September 12, 2005 5:46 PM 
Commented by Blogger Firefly:


Word on Anderson Cooper but lately the normally hot Brad Pitt has looked a little dark and scary. (Do you think that has anything to do with Angelina?) Oh and put me on the list for any available brothers.


September 12, 2005 11:50 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Firefly! It looks like you already started the I-Heart-Anderson-Cooper club!!! I'm so in.


September 13, 2005 12:04 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Girl you are crazy.
And you are picky.
And that's ok, there is nothing wrong with that.
Anderson Cooper is HOT!


September 13, 2005 9:37 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Anderson Cooper's Ego:


I'M actually the president of the "I Heart Anderson Cooper" club. Sorry.


September 13, 2005 1:37 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


I guess you're right... Anderson Cooper does read my blog...and he left a comment for you.

As soon as I stop spining in happy circles over my Hot Loan Guy I am going to go look up who this Anderson Cooper guy is.

Must be hot because we have the same taste in men.


September 13, 2005 1:55 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


OMG!!! Anderson Cooper just commented on my blog. I think I'm gonna wet myself.


September 13, 2005 3:10 PM 
Commented by Blogger Shaun:


I'm too old. I don't have a Bacehlor's. I don't fix anything automotive related. I'm never wrong and unconvincing when I try to admit I am. I look nothing like Arm Pitt or Aryan Cooper....not that I'm bitter or anything.

But I can do Goofy's voice.


September 13, 2005 3:29 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


OMG!!! Shaun just commented on my blog. I think I'm gonna wet myself.


September 13, 2005 3:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:


lmfao


September 13, 2005 4:09 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Jessie:


At the risk of looking like a loser - who is Anderson Cooper? Or whatever his name is?

The good ones, or even the semi-good ones seem to be impossible to find. *sigh*


September 13, 2005 4:16 PM 
Commented by Blogger Shaun:


hehehehe.....silly girl. Oh, and "Bad Santa' wasn't very good. Find a guy with better taste in comedies.


September 13, 2005 4:43 PM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:


except for being, married, old, fat & ugly, i killed on this list.


September 13, 2005 5:35 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Shaun can however..
Go get Starbucks for you every morning.
Carry all your shopping bags.
Drive you and all of you silly giggling girlfriends/family around.
Safely lead you out of the bar when you are wasted.
Cook some kick ass food.

You guys crack me up.


September 13, 2005 8:28 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Jessie: www.cnn.com
My little Anderson-poo is an anchor.

Shaun: Goofy voice trumps all other qualifications. Oh, and did I tell you that I LOVE the Raiders??? Now I have to go and hide before Kristine comes and cuts me for flirting with her man.

Big Heavy: You're ONLY disqualification is being married.

Pissy: Kristine's gonna come cut you too. Maybe we can just clone Shaun. I know how to do that. What will people pay for a Shaun clone?

Kristine: You know I Heart You and would never steal your man from you. I would just try to borrow him for a little bit here and there.


September 13, 2005 11:33 PM 
Commented by Blogger Me:


God, whatever you do....DO NOT SEE BAD SANTA....it will suck your brain out....it was by far the poorest excuse for a movie I have ever seen. But on the good side, Pissy Britches mouth would feel right at home in this movie....


September 14, 2005 7:17 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


Hey you hooker....

I like his little bits right here...not there.

So...would you be willing to uh...pay?


September 14, 2005 9:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


I Kissed John: Too late! For the love of Guy #6 I already watched it (with him.) It was amusing, but I wouldn't say that my life is better off, having seen it. Oh well.

Kristine: Who you calling a hooker, ho?
Actually, I guess I should call you a pimp, instead...how much does Shaun cost? Hehehe.


September 14, 2005 2:13 PM 

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