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Thursday, July 14, 2005

...so take off all your clothes...

I'm pretty sure that the devil used to live in Houston. He wore a Stetson, had a gun rack on his Ford F150 pick-up, used words like, "reckon," "yonder," and "skeeters," was a certified Dubya lover, and he played a fiddle. Then one day, he had enough. He said to himself, "Dammit all to Houston! It's hotter than Hades down here. I'm moving!" He packed up all of his pitchforks and moved to Hell. (He left the Stetson, gun racks, and Fords behind.) "Aaaaaah. Much better. It's much much cooler down here. And it's a dry heat! My hair will be much more managable now!" And the devil lived happily ever after.

The End.

posted by The Merry Widow at 4:27 PM |

31 Comments:

Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:


HA! Humidity's a bitch, isn't it?And here I thought the devil just moved to the White House...


July 14, 2005 5:15 PM 
Commented by Blogger Angel With an Attitude:


i reckon this here heat n humitidy is so meeserable i'm fixin to slit my wrists with the devils spork right there over yonder


July 14, 2005 5:28 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:


got heat?

:)


July 15, 2005 8:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger Nessa:


well, at least we finally got rain! :)


July 15, 2005 8:58 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Anonymous:


Humidty is high in the NE too.

Have a heat related question :-)
Any one know where I can get a clip of the Expedia Aussie Towel commercial? Who the actor is?

Thanks


July 15, 2005 10:12 AM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:


it's perfect here in the mountains.


July 15, 2005 10:32 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Hey, that's kinda how I talk.
I say reckon a lot..like totally too much.


July 15, 2005 10:47 AM 
Commented by Blogger michaela:


ha ha ha! i wonder how people live in the humidity - i think i would die. yup. i'd be dead.


July 15, 2005 12:05 PM 
Commented by Blogger little sister:


It's so humid in Indy these days that, from the 26th floor where I work, it looks like it's raining...no shit. Had to walk to work carrying a hand towel to dab my face before the sweat smeared off my make-up (I bet that's a lovely visual).

Except that it's only 90 here, I feel your pain.


July 15, 2005 4:17 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Eirene:


Merry Widow!

I hope you don't mind, but Guy #3 told me your blogging identity (since I've met you in real life), so I hope that's OK. And yes, I had to do a bit of research to figure out how to address people properly.

Anyway, if you can't figure out how you know me, you can ask that guy. I hope all is well and maybe I'll see ya around town sometime!

Eirene


July 15, 2005 8:49 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:


Wow, it was a beautiful, crisp, sunny day here today. About 82, no humidity. We all enjoyed the outdoors. So sorry MW, maybe you should roadtrip up the Pac NW for a summertime visit.


July 16, 2005 3:32 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Charlotte: HA! He did.

Wendi: LOL! I reckon that you're from these here parts.

Madmanan: It's definately hot 'round here. And now I'm not talkin about the weather. Hehehe

Anon: Oooooh, I've seen that commercial, but I don't know who the actor is. I bet you can google it though. I'll be headin up your way in 2 weeks. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a relief from the heat, compared to here.

BH: And after I'm done in NYC, I'm heading to your part of town!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

Pissy: Ha! I guess the entire south is friends with the devil. ;-)

Michaela: There is one bonus to all this humidity: my skin is no longer dry. Of course, I break out with monster sized zits more often, and you have to wear sunglasses to ward of the glare from all the oil on my face, but at least my skin is not dry.

Lil Sister: Humidity's a bitch no matter what the temp is! My hair is going CRAZY and my make-up oozes off my face every day. Some days I don't even know why I bother to attempt to make myself pretty.

EIRENE!!! Of course I know who you are! I've been reading your blog for sometime now, but I haven't commented because Xanga doesn't let non-Xanga members comment. Glad to know that good times were had on your trip! You and I will have to have our own road trip to visit Guy #3.

RSG: Quit bragging, you bitch. First you tell me that I can't be your girlfriend and then you have to tell me about your perfect weather. Now you're probably gonna brag about how you get to go and visit Kristine and Pissy Britches and do fun blogging things with them. ;-)


July 17, 2005 12:23 AM 
Commented by Anonymous debu_inAfrica:


The only way to defeat the humidity is to just give the f*ck up and give in to sweating 24/7. Embrace your inner sweat.

Oh, and by dancing and shaking your ass as often as possible. Say for instance on the night of July 23rd for my "I'm turning old as dirt" birthday party downtown.

Find me for details.


July 18, 2005 11:00 AM 
Commented by Anonymous Eirene:


Merry Widow!

Hurray!! Much agreed!


July 18, 2005 5:43 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


Using those damn stetsons to hide the horns.


bastards.


hey...it's not so bad here in Cali...you could come bath with Shaun....again.


July 19, 2005 3:55 AM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:


Gotta love the humidity. We got it up here too, in spades!

Love your comment on my 'Phasing out' post!! You should TOTALLY use it!


July 19, 2005 7:20 PM 
Commented by Blogger Shaun:


Hey bath buddy, your designs are up in my store*. You don't have to get anything, just wanted to let you know you're in there!!

*sorry, bath towels not yet available


July 19, 2005 11:23 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERRY WIDOW!!

I need your email address...or I at least need to add it to your blog.


July 20, 2005 12:09 PM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY Princess!!


July 20, 2005 6:16 PM 
Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:


Birthday? Did someone say it's your birthday?

Happy Birthday, Merry Widow! I hope that you are out having all kinds of fun and that this is an amazing year for you. We love you here in the blogosphere!


July 20, 2005 11:14 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:


happy belated birthday!!! i was a little hungover yesterday, and didnt quite remember. sorry :/


July 21, 2005 11:42 AM 
Commented by Blogger PS:


The humidity... it's a bitch.

Aveda Anti-Humectant helps a little bit to keep the puff away. But hair products can only go so far. I just have to wait until September's cooler air comes along before I can count on better hair days.

I hear your pain, and I sympathize totally.

P.S. I'm back..... come visit.


July 21, 2005 2:32 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:


Happy Birthday MW, and I'll be your girlfriend if you really want me to.


July 21, 2005 11:26 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Debutaunt! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! I left you a comment on your blog.

Eirene: I'll be keeping up with you on your blog! I'm glad you found me!

Kristine and Shaun: Thanks for my birthday wishes and cafepress stuff!!! I am SOOOOOO excited to buy myself a MW thong. Hehehe. Maybe you should make a MW bathing suit for our bath time date.

Jessie: Well I just loved your new phrase! Sorry you have to deal with all the humidity/heat too! Of course, I'll probably complain just as much once our one day of winter rolls around down here.

Big Heavy: Thank you so much! I LOVED the pink purse that you got for me!

Charlotte: Awww, thank you! I totally love you and Sue too!

Madmanan: Amen, brotha! I had a hard time at work today. Needless to say, my birthday was fun. And the exciting part is that the real celebration will be tomorrow! I'll make sure to drink an extra WooWoo for your birthday!

Pink Stiletto: So glad you're back!!! And now I'm gonna head down to the Aveda store and pick up some anti-humectant ASAP. I know that it's probably futile, but I need all the help that I can get.

RSG: Really? Hear that everyone? RSG loves me!!!


July 21, 2005 11:56 PM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:


tru!


July 22, 2005 8:38 AM 
Commented by Blogger Surfie:


Ain't that the truth? God, it has been like soup outside.

Great post and made me laugh my ass off!


July 22, 2005 3:46 PM 
Commented by Blogger Mrs. Ca:


Hate the heat. Hate!


July 26, 2005 1:19 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


Up-FUCKING-date!

Geezus woman!


July 26, 2005 3:11 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


SO, put back on all your fucking clothes...and POST ON THIS BIATCH!


July 28, 2005 8:41 PM 
Commented by Blogger Cece:


LMFAO!
Now why the Devil gotta be a Texan?


July 28, 2005 10:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:


Did you drop dead of heat exhaustion?

Would you please leave that god forsaken oven of a state and come live with your girlfriend; then maybe you could update this fucking blog...


August 01, 2005 11:14 PM 

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