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Monday, June 27, 2005

Of, relating to, or characteristic of Plato or his philosophy

Dear A.P.,

There are two things in life that I think are very important:

The first is telling someone that you love them. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I am loved, whether it's romantically, unconditionally, or platonically. It makes me feel important, wanted, and as if I have a purpose. It reminds me that God is still present in my life despite the heartache that I've experienced. But this feeling doesn't come too often, for people get wrapped in their busy lives and forget that today might be the last day to love. This is a lesson that my husband and I had to learn as a result of tragedy, but that we embraced in spite of it. And for this reason, I try to make it a point to tell the people in my life that I love them, whether it's through my actions or with my words.

But the word, "love" can take on so many meanings. I use this word to describe my feelings for fried rice, pink purses, Justin Timberlake, my diva cat, my mom, my dad, and my husband. For this reason, I try to be specific with the word, "love." I love fried rice because it is yummy. I love Justin Timberlake because he makes me feel kinda funny, like when I used to climb the rope in P.E. I love my mom and dad because they are funny, and smart, and supportive, and caring, and the bestest parents that ever existed ever. And I love my husband because he taught me that love never ends. But this letter isn't about all of these things. It's about you, and why I love you.

Which leads me to the second thing in life that I find important: Encouragement. I grew up in the most loving, supportive family imaginable. And even though I was an "A" student, an avid dancer, a girl scout, a pianist, and a church-goer, I was never encouraged to do any of these things per se. I was never discouraged from doing these things either, but when I decided that I no longer wanted to study, dance, play piano, or go to church, my decisions were respected without question. This, naturally, has its pros and cons. For one, I didn't have pushy parents - the ones who yell at their kids when they strike out at a little league game or decide that their child will absolutely become a doctor, even if that child doesn't like science or medicine. But on the other hand, I may have lost sight of my goals because I wasn't encouraged. I never did become that prima ballerina that I wanted to be. I stopped being the virtuoso and quickly forgot all the notes and chords of the songs I once played with ease. And I never even tried to get into medical school, even though it was one of my life-long dreams. Now this isn't to say that I blame my parents for my choices in life. I cherish that they let me become an independent thinker and learn that all of my actions come with consequences, whether good or bad. And in the end, I am the only one who could have made these things happen for myself. But sometimes I wonder: What if I had had a little push? Would I have tried harder?

This is where you finally come in. I love you because you encourage me. You took a match and created a spark within me which has relit the path that I want to take in life. And I'm not just talking about medical school...you encourage me to be a better person in every way possible. You challenge my mind in a way that makes me want to learn more about history, math, science, music, myself, you, and God. And even though I will NEVER admit that you might possibly be a teenie bit smarter than I, you make me want to know everything that you know, for you're so well versed in so many things. But most importantly, you encourage me to laugh.

Someone sent me an email today with just one sentence. It said, "Has anyone ever told you that you are gifted in the art of bringing smiles to faces?" I like to think so, but I want you to know that you have, and will always, bring a smile to my face.

Good luck in medical school. I'll be following right behind you.

The Merry Widow

posted by The Merry Widow at 11:11 PM |


Commented by Blogger schmims:

I agree with you. My parents divorced when I was in college and probably should have when I was in elementary school. Becasue they were so involved in their disputes, I hid out in my room if I was home to aviod it all. Therefore my parents play little to no part in my life as role model or as you say encourager. I never considered certain things as even options and now that I'm out of school, I wish I had taken a different route. I love to travel but with only 12 days off a year, there's not much opportunity. I'm considering getting a masters in education so that I can once again have my summers off. I went about a career with $$$ and being able to be independent in mind.

Good luck to you!

(Linked to you through sillynessa)

June 28, 2005 7:10 AM 
Commented by Blogger some girl:

Does this mean you'll have a prescription pad and won't be afraid to use it?

Look at me, always finding the upside to every situation. Sure you'll be super busy, but in the end you can help medicate your friends and family.

Joking aside, I'm proud of you. Can't wait to call you Dr. Merry Widow.

June 28, 2005 8:09 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Schmims: Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting! I just want to make it clear that I don't wish for my life to have taken a differnet path...I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it wasn't for the choices and experiences that I have had. I have absolutely no regrets and am happy with the person that I have become. And I do consider my parents to be great role models. They just didn't want to be pushy parents and wanted to make sure that I was always doing what I wanted to do, rather than what they wanted me to do.

Some Girl: Lol! It's gonna be a couple of years before I can be ready for medical school. But hearing (reading) someone call me Dr. MW is making me want it even more!

June 28, 2005 9:22 AM 
Commented by Blogger Nessa:

awwww - my parents did the same thing, encouraged but didn't push - I sometimes wish they would've pushed in some aspects because I would have gone further quicker. I'm trying to find that good balance with Miss B & Baby D. I hope it works - we just never know!

June 28, 2005 9:37 AM 
Commented by Blogger Darbi:

MW! Nekidtater is out of town for 2 weeks and I'm kinda bored at home. We should get out on the bikes and I'll call ya Dr. MW as many times as you want! Hahaha...geez I sound desperate huh...
Anywhoo...come on by or send me an email.


June 28, 2005 10:37 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

I love you.

June 28, 2005 11:46 AM 
Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:

Kristine! You're supposed to be specific about what KIND of love. For instance... I love you, Merry Widow, because you are a fabulous writer. Your blog makes me laugh or cry (and sometimes both), depending on the day. You rock!

Oh - and Kristine? I love YOU because if the blogosphere were high school, you'd be prom queen and student body president all in one! (not to mention yearbook photographer)

June 28, 2005 4:00 PM 
Commented by Blogger Head of our pack...:

How is it that you are able to write such great, emotion evoking posts??? You have quite a talent! I think you are the best letter writer-er. No wonder you got the freakin Genius score!!

June 28, 2005 6:04 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:

Merry Widow, I LOVE YOU! (not in a lesbian way, keep your pants on...)

When you become a Dr. will you please write me a prescription for VICODIN? I have BAD cramps right now!

June 28, 2005 8:48 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Anonymous:

Ahem -


Well... you said that you wanted encouragement... Consider that a friendly little reminder. I refuse to be the only one playing with the fire of uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to applying to graduate programs, and it'll be good to have a friend to fall back and sympathize with. Maybe the competition will spur us both higher?

Now get out there and kick some merry ass!

- A

June 28, 2005 9:37 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:

I often wonder the same thing. What would have happened in my life had my parents forced me a little. They would let me quit things when times got rough and I didn't want to finish. But they never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do and I appreciate that also. We will never know. And there is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer in life either, right? Go for it!

June 28, 2005 10:16 PM 
Commented by Blogger Jessie:

Hi M-Wid!

I really enjoyed reading this post, so sweet. Your comment about Justin Timberlake making you feel funny, like climbing the rope in PE nearly made me fall out of my chair with laughter!

Also - check out my new blog when you have a sec -


June 29, 2005 11:58 AM 
Commented by Blogger OldHorsetailSnake:

Please excuse this intrusion:

I am a reader of Synaptic Interlude, known to me as "Surfie." She has not posted since June 4, at a time when there was illness in the family. I see you visit there. Do you have any idea if she and Dr. B are all right? My email is mbenditem@msn.com. Thanks. Gene Maudlin

June 29, 2005 12:32 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Silly Nessa: Yeah, I think it would be hard to find the right balance when raising children.

Darbi: We're totally on for the 4th. Yeah!

Kristine: I love you too! Particularly because you love red swingline staplers!

Charlotte: Thanks for setting Kristine straight. And thanks for all the warm fuzzy compliments!!! FYI, I love you because you like to travel and are adventurous and because you always post cool poll type questions on your blog.

The Life Of Me: Thanks! I've always liked getting letters, which is why I try to be a good letter-writer-er.

RSG: Are you sure you don't love me in a lesbian kind of way??? I'm pretty hot when I'm wearing my tiara, you know. :P Oh, and hell yeah on the vicodin thing. That's why I wanna become a doctor in the first place!

Mr. Anonymous: Ha! I know who you are. Thank you so much for getting me started!!! I'm gonna hunt you down tomorrow and make sure you're holding up your end of the bargain.

Krankipantzen: You're absolutely right! Nothing wrong with a late bloomer at all.

Jessie: Love your new blog! I've updated my sidebar with your new address.

OldHorsetailSnake: I've seen you comment on "surfie's" blog. I was wondering what had happend to her myself. I just figured that she was busy with real life things...I hope she's ok!!!

June 29, 2005 5:52 PM 
Commented by Blogger Fuzzball:

I am TOTALLY digging this blog, Merry Widow! (I found you through Kristine, and I found Kristine through Torrie and I found Torrie through Dooce...) Look what I've been through to find YOU! :) I'm adding you to my blogroll immediately.

June 29, 2005 6:02 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl:

Merry Widow, I'm sure you're quite the hotty in your tiara; but come on?

We'd make QUITE the pair; The Merry Widow and her girlfriend, The Recovering Straight Girl.

That may get us on Oprah though!

June 29, 2005 7:14 PM 
Commented by Blogger Candace:

Merry Widow, I love you BECAUSE you're going to yell things at Tom Cruise when you see War of the Worlds (even if you only yell in your head, it counts).

June 29, 2005 8:48 PM 
Commented by Blogger Caroline:

Hey there! I'm linkin to ya, hope you don't mind, don't feel obligated to link me back or anything. I just have to have a list of blogs on my site or I know I'd forget to read someone and then feel bad later.


June 30, 2005 11:25 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing. You are so right. I was never encouraged as a child. NEVER. Boy is that a hard thing to turn around. It makes it very hard to belive in yourself. I think after 29 years I am almost there.

June 30, 2005 8:51 PM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:

Dr. Merry Widow. That has a nice ring to it.

July 01, 2005 1:33 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Fuzzball: Thanks so much! I'm off to visit your blog shortly.

RSG: RSG reminds me of MSG, which reminds me of Chinese food. (Random, I know.) Anyway I guess we weren't meant to be. *sigh* Oh well. We'll have to find another excuse to get on Oprah. :)

misfit: I didn't yell during the movie, but I did yell at him while I was watching the E True Hollywood Story about Tom Cruise today. Does that count?

Caroline: Thanks so much!!! :)

Pissy: Can you believe that we're 29?!? (I'll be 29 in 19 days!!!) I feel so old and like such a kid a the same time.

BH: I like the sound of that!

July 01, 2005 5:21 PM 
Commented by Blogger some girl:

Hey Dr. MW...where are you? I need a distraction and was hoping for a new post.

July 05, 2005 10:37 AM 
Commented by Blogger little sister:

Merry Widow you're the best! That first paragraph choked me all up here at this public computer...I love you, kiddo! (I think you're at least a year or two older than the daughter I had when I was too young ...) You're right about encouragement, too. I think I was the only adult in mi hija's family who didn't discourage her from doing whatever she wanted, and poof! She's on her own in a financial consulting firm on the east coast.

You're going to be a wonderful, lovely doctor and whatever else you want to be. You'll be Merry too :)

July 06, 2005 8:34 PM 
Commented by Blogger little sister:

Addendum to my comment: I not only didn't discourage mi hija, but also I /encouraged/ her...bit of a difference there (worked 10 hours today...tired of proofreading - lol).

and how do I do html, e.g., bold and italics, in these little comment thingies?

July 06, 2005 8:36 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:

Ok..I was feeling so guilty because I haven't been to check anyones blog in a while. Well I come here and you haven't posted anything new so now I feel better! hahaha.
NO, I CANNOT believe we are 29! You are almost 29. I am already 29. It is kind of surreal.

July 07, 2005 8:26 AM 
Commented by Anonymous debu_bored:

Dear Merry Widow,

Please update. I love you and am extremely bored.

I just took a picture of my chewed gum.

thank you.

July 08, 2005 3:41 PM 

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