Dear A.P.,
There are
two things in life that I think are very important:
The
first is telling someone that you love them. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I am loved, whether it's romantically, unconditionally, or platonically. It makes me feel important, wanted, and as if I have a purpose. It reminds me that God is still present in my life despite the heartache that I've experienced. But this feeling doesn't come too often, for people get wrapped in their busy lives and forget that today might be the last day to love. This is a lesson that my husband and I had to learn as a result of tragedy, but that we embraced in spite of it. And for this reason, I try to make it a point to tell the people in my life that I love them, whether it's through my actions or with my words.
But the word, "love" can take on so many meanings. I use this word to describe my feelings for fried rice, pink purses, Justin Timberlake, my diva cat, my mom, my dad, and my husband. For this reason, I try to be specific with the word, "love." I love fried rice
because it is yummy. I love Justin Timberlake
because he makes me feel kinda funny, like when I used to climb the rope in P.E. I love my mom and dad
because they are funny, and smart, and supportive, and caring, and the bestest parents that ever existed ever. And I love my husband
because he taught me that love never ends. But this letter isn't about all of these things. It's about you, and why I love you.
Which leads me to the
second thing in life that I find important: Encouragement. I grew up in the most loving, supportive family imaginable. And even though I was an "A" student, an avid dancer, a girl scout, a pianist, and a church-goer, I was never
encouraged to do any of these things per se. I was never discouraged from doing these things either, but when I decided that I no longer wanted to study, dance, play piano, or go to church, my decisions were respected without question. This, naturally, has its pros and cons. For one, I didn't have pushy parents - the ones who yell at their kids when they strike out at a little league game or decide that their child will absolutely become a doctor, even if that child doesn't like science or medicine. But on the other hand, I may have lost sight of my goals because I wasn't encouraged. I never did become that prima ballerina that I wanted to be. I stopped being the virtuoso and quickly forgot all the notes and chords of the songs I once played with ease. And I never even tried to get into medical school, even though it was one of my life-long dreams. Now this isn't to say that I blame my parents for my choices in life. I cherish that they let me become an independent thinker and learn that all of my actions come with consequences, whether good or bad. And in the end, I am the only one who could have made these things happen for myself. But sometimes I wonder: What if I had had a little push? Would I have tried harder?
This is where you finally come in. I
love you
because you
encourage me. You took a match and created a spark within me which has relit the path that I want to take in life. And I'm not just talking about medical school...you encourage me to be a better person in every way possible. You challenge my mind in a way that makes me want to learn more about history, math, science, music, myself, you, and God. And even though I will NEVER admit that you might possibly be a teenie bit smarter than I, you make me want to know everything that you know, for you're so well versed in so many things. But most importantly, you encourage me to laugh.
Someone sent me an email today with just one sentence. It said, "Has anyone ever told you that you are gifted in the art of bringing smiles to faces?" I like to think so, but I want you to know that
you have, and will always, bring a smile to
my face.
Good luck in medical school. I'll be following right behind you.
Love,
The Merry Widow
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