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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I feel pretty...oh so pretty...

So I went out to dinner tonight with SJ (and some coworkers) and she told me that I had a real good lesbian look going tonight. She said it was because of my glasses (which she had never seen me wear before) but I think it was because I couldn't keep my eyes off of her huge boobs. So then I got to thinking...what if I give lesbianism a try? I mean the guy thing isn't working out all that well for me right now. Well, there are guys...just not the right ones. The ones who will give me the attention that I crave, give me the love that I long for, give me the respect that I think I deserve.

Anyway, 2 margaritas later, SJ decided that she would see if lesbianism was for me. She put her hand on my thigh...she moved her hand up a little higher.... And you know what? Nothing. As cute as she is, I guess she just isn't my type. "What is your type, Merry Widow?" you may be wondering to yourself. Well let me tell you. My type has to be taller than me (SJ is taller,) must not be too hairy (SJ is not hairy,) must be smart (SJ is a genius,) must be funny (SJ makes me laugh), and must have a penis. One that is NOT detachable, battery operated, or surgically implanted. Sorry, SJ, I guess we were never meant to be. It's not you, it's me.

Oh well. Girls are psycho anyway. Don't act like you're not...we've all been there. Just don't tell the guys.


posted by The Merry Widow at 10:09 PM |


Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:

shut up, slut. you know you like it.

March 03, 2005 3:05 PM 
Commented by Blogger Bitchkateers Unite!:

sigh. I'm with you there. no dudes are quite doing it for me lately. I just wish I could combine a bit of him and a bit of this other guy and a smidge of a thrird ... well ... then I might have the perfect man.


But chicks aren't my schwing. I'm still strictly dickly no matter how much lesbianism might be a'callin.


March 03, 2005 4:00 PM 
Commented by Blogger Tuesday Girl:

Being a lesbian has huge perks, like doubling your wardrobe.

March 03, 2005 5:19 PM 
Commented by Blogger Psycho Kitty:

LOL. When I got divorced, I swore I would become a nun, a Buddhist monk, or a lesbian. But I'm not Catholic or Buddhist or lesbian, as it turns out, so now I'm just bored.

March 09, 2005 8:22 PM 

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