There's a reality show on MTV called "My super sweet 16" which features kids getting everything that they ask for on their 16th birthday on top of some extravagant million dollar party. And I'm not talking about a backyard BBQ or pool party...these parties are so over the top that even Paris Hilton and P.Diddy can't make it onto the guest list. Anywho, on one episode of this show, some little snot-nosed brat asks her dad for a Range Rover and then pouts when he suggests that maybe she get something a little smaller like a Mercedes, at which point she proclaims that she will never speak to her father again unless she gets the Range Rover.

Wow! I didn't know that life could be so simple. So today I picked up the phone and asked my dad to buy me a BMW. I explained to him that any 3-series BMW would suffice, as long as it had 4 doors, black leather interior, silver exterior, and a navigation system. I could even do without the upgraded rims as long as I was able to get the spoiler. My dad laughed at me and told me that he would buy me my BMW when he won the lottery, which basically meant that he wasn't going to buy me the car.

"But, Daddy," I explained, "The girl on MTV got a Range Rover for her Super Sweet 16."

"Mija, you're 28 years old...it's a little too late to ask for a sweet 16 gift. Besides, we're from Mexico. We don't do the sweet 16 thing. We do the quincenera thing."

"Then can I get a belated quincenera gift?"

"No."

"Damn."

So I hung up the phone and did what any logical 28 year old widow would do...I logged onto MTV.com to see if they would pimp my ride. If my dad won't buy me the car of my dreams, then maybe MTV would fix up my current set of wheels. And you know what? I don't qualify for that show. Not because my current car is too new...not because my current car has no visible exterior or interior body damage.... Do you wanna know the real reason why I don't qualify? I'm too old. "Must be between the ages of 18-22." Stupid MTV rules. Not only am I too old for a sweet 16 party or quincenera, but now I'm too old to be on MTV.

I will be turning 29 this year...maybe my dad will throw me a super-sweet-you're-almost-30-but-you still-have-one-more-year-left-in-your-twenties-fiesta-gigante. Then he'll buy me a 7 series BMW and I'll live happily ever after. But I'll probably just go out to dinner instead. (And still live happily ever after! Ha!)

Labels: I'm all growed up now., Viva Mexico