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Saturday, February 26, 2005

The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword

Is it really? Because if you were to write something bad about me, I would just pull out the knife that I use to hold my hair up and cut you. That's right, I WOULD CUT YOU! Then what would you do? Run home and write about it? Oooooh...how intimidating.

Which leads me to phrase #2: "Her bark is bigger than her bite." Yup, I always try to intimidate people by talking like this but then they just laugh at me and tell other people that I'm funny and sarcastic. I guess that a little 5 foot tall Mexican girl, whose favorite color is pink, and who loves to laugh and dance in the halls at work, doesn't pull off the gangsta image all that well.

Which leads me to phrase #3: "No Way, Jose!" OK, as mentioned in the phrase #2 blurb, I'm Mexican. Well, I'm Mexican-American. My dad came to the U.S. when he was 18 (he was born and raised in Mexico City) and my mom swam across the river when she was 15. (She was born and raised in Lerdo - a small town in the state of Durango, Mexico. I bet you never heard of it.) My parents met at a low rider car show in East L.A. after they both arrived in the grand old U.S. of A. and the rest is history. So I get to be the lucky child...first generation born in America - Land of the Free, Land of the Rich, Land of theTaco Bell. But I digress. Being that my parents are not from this great country of ours, they were never privy to all of the great phrases and metaphors that most English speaking kids learn growing up in these here parts. So the first time my dad heard someone proclaim "No Way, Jose!" He had two things to say: 1.) "How deed jew know my name? (His name is Jose, in case you didn't catch on.) and 2.) "Jew are saying my name een-corrrrrectly. " You see, most Americans pronounce the name, Jose, as "Hose-A." As in a garden hose, and the letter "A." But it should actually be pronouced as "Hau-seh, " which does not rhyme with "no way." Anyway, my dad has now come to realize that this is just a phrase that Americans use to express disbelief and it has become one of his favorite American phrases to use... because it has his name in it. But when he says it, he insists on using the correct pronunciation of his name, so the phrase no longer rhymes and when people hear him say it, they usually respond with, "Huh? "

Which leads me to phrase #4: "You are sooooooo covered with Cheese!" So one day, after getting tired of hearing my dad explain to people that the phrase "No Way, Jose" is actually wrong because they are mispronouncing his name, I told him that he was cheesy. "What?" What do jew meeen that I am cheesy. I don't have any cheese on me. In fact, I have not eaten any cheese today, so how would I have any cheese on me?" {sigh} "Of course you don't have any cheese on you, daddy. It's just a saying..." So my dad learned a new phrase and was anxious to use it in a sentence. Except when he actually had the opportunity to say it, he couldn't remember exactly how the saying went. So one night, when he and I were watching Seinfeld on TV, my dad proclaimed, "He is soooooooo covered in cheese!!!"

Which leads me back to phrase #2: "Her bark is bigger than her bite. " I was talking to my dad on the phone today and was having trouble hearing him. Then I realized that it was because the loudest, most obnoxious dog was barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and barking, and BARKING, AND BARKING, AND BARKING, AND BARKING, AND BARKING, AND BARKING, AND BARKING right outside my bedroom window. And no matter where I walked within my little house, I couldn't avoid the torturous bark. So my dad told me to just walk outside and talk to the dog. Explain to the dog that she was annoying me and to ask her to please stop her barking. "But, Daddy, what if the dog bites me?" "Don't worry, mija, I'm sure that her bark is bigger than her bite." "Daddy, you are so covered with cheese."

Which now leads me back to phrase #1: "The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword." Instead of walking outside and doing anything about the barking dog, I decided to just turn on some music to drown out the barking and write on my blog instead. OK, so maybe this pen is mightier than my theoretical hair knife would be, but what are you gonna do about it? Is your sword mightier than your pen?


posted by The Merry Widow at 1:53 PM |


Commented by Blogger mb:


"explain to the dog that she is annoying"

I'm not sure how effective that would be with dogs...I know for a fact it doesn't work with children. I've tried.

February 26, 2005 4:50 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Ken:

You might want to tell your dad that our national anthem has his name in it too. "Jose, can you see by the dawn's early light..."

I am so covered with cheese. (I love that! I'm going to steal that expression from you.)

February 26, 2005 10:26 PM 
Commented by Anonymous Anonymous:

So, your mom came here as an illegal immigrant?

February 27, 2005 2:37 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:

Yup. Although she is now a U.S. Citizen.

February 27, 2005 3:55 PM 
Commented by Anonymous tabitha:

I think anonymous is looking for your mom. Better pull out that hair knife.
But seriously, when I was in college, I lived in the french house and we had a person who lived there every year who was a native speaker. So, Marie Ange had only been in the States for a couple of weeks when our drag queen friend took her to the local liquor store, which was also at the corner of the projects. She wanted to know what "that guy" was doing, and he told her, "he's chillin'." She was so proud to come back and tell us that she saw someone "chillin'."
That whole story sounds like I made it up, doesn't it?
I didn't

March 02, 2005 11:26 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:

I can not get enough of your blog. I'm now going back and RE-reading stuff.

WRITE MORE PLEASE! you are so talented!

April 01, 2005 5:38 PM 
Commented by Blogger Shylah:

That was the most convoluted line of thinking I've heard since.. well, the last time I tried to think about something. I'm loving your blog. =)

April 08, 2005 8:12 PM 
Commented by Blogger Mister Underhill:

The penis mighter than the sword? Why, thank you ;)

May 09, 2005 4:34 PM 

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