So I'm at work, sitting in the bathroom stall, waiting for the 2 Chinese girls to hurry up and finish their conversation and get the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks, out of the bathroom so that I can enjoy my poop time in private. Cuz there is NO WAY that I'm gonna toot/fart/let my ass explode while other people are in the room with me. I don't care who you are, that's just embarrassing.

So the 2 Chinese girls were standing outside my stall, just jib-jabbering away, going on and on and on and on. Now, I mention that they are Chinese because their entire conversation was in Chinese, which means that I didn't understand a single word that they were saying. But apparently, whatever they were talking about was pretty darn funny, because boy were they laughing a lot.

Did I mention that they were standing right outside of my bathroom stall? And that I had to poop? Like really badly? Like, I had eaten Taco Bell the night before, just before I went to sleep (yes, I'm healthy like that) and my 3 Crunchy Tacos had chosen this exact moment to stage a coup against my colon and were ready to charge out of my butt, like Mel Gibson did in Braveheart...face paint and all?

Anyway, because I am a courteous member of the work-pooping society, I chose to wait for these 2 Chinese girls to finish their conversation and leave before my butt decided to let loose all that is unholy on this Earth. The wait was pretty agonizing.

So I'm sitting there, on top of my pretty little toilet seat cover, silently cussing out the 2 little Chinese speaking whores, when I realize that I can actually understand one word in their dialogue, which they keep repeating throughout their 1000-chapter-conversation. You wanna know what the word was? Hamburger. As in 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame bun. Yeah, that word. They kept repeating it over and over and over again. So their conversation sounded something like this:

Chinese Girl #1: "Blah blah blah...words in Chinese, words in Chinese, words in Chinese, Hamburger, more words I don't understand."

[Laughter from both girls...]

Chinese Girl #2: "Hamburger, words, blah blah, Chinese words, more Chinese words, hamburger, hamburger...."

Which begs the question: Does the word "Hamburger" actually mean something in Chinese? Or were these 2 girls just having a joyous conversation about Fuddruckers?

You be the judge.

Labels: Poop Stories