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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Here are snippets of conversation that I had during my 3rd Annual Girl's Weekend:

"That guy's ass is hot. Grab it!"

"I can't believe that guy let you grab his ass. Go back and cup his nuts!"

"Guys...if I had my tonsils removed, and then I was then infected with strep, where would the infection go?"
"Your vagina! You would have a pussy vagina! You would have a pussy pussy!

Yelled out across shopping area as one of my friends was returning from a long bathroom trip:
"HEY! DID YOU PUKE OR POOP?"
"I PUKED!"
The rest of us, in unison then replied, "YEAH!" (She was hung over, we thought if she could just throw up, then she would feel better.)

Conversation that we made up while walking through a big group of horny men:
"So when you went down on him, he came all over your face?"
"Yeah, and it tasted like Pus!"
(The look on everyone's face was priceless.)

"That guy is hot. Let's go make-out with him!"

"I don't wanna talk to you unless you buy me a drink first." (Said to Kevin Federline look alike.)

"Just so you know, I'm NOT having sex with you! So you might as well leave."

"Hey guys??? What's your favorite STD? Because mine is totally 'The Clap.'"

"You have been the best waiter. If I wasn't already engaged, I would totally do you."

Which was then followed by: "I'm not engaged. I'll do you now."

And the quote to sum up the weekend:
"You guys, I totally love that I can talk freely about cunts and jiz and pus with y'all. Because at work I have to be all professional and shit. You guys are the bestest friends...EVER!!!"

posted by The Merry Widow at 4:48 PM |

13 Comments:

Commented by Blogger little sister:


OMG!! That is so funny! I love the made up conversation...I'd never have the fucking guts to do that. Well, maybe after enough Stoli martinis...


May 05, 2005 5:59 PM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


I want to be one of your friends.


May 05, 2005 8:29 PM 
Commented by Blogger mrtl:


I'd have to be SOOOOOO drunk to do this.

Way to go, girls!!


May 05, 2005 9:05 PM 
Commented by Blogger Naked Monkey Boy:


Cheesepickle....you just more awesomer each day - you know?

--Chris


May 06, 2005 8:39 AM 
Commented by Blogger Darbi:


My lovely boyfriend...a little grammatically challenged, but I don't keep him around for his brains, ya know? (just kidding, dear!) He's just distracted...a lot... :-D

MW, you should come by some evening next week and hang out!

Darbi
(the hippy's girlfriend)


May 06, 2005 9:48 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Ok..why does this totally sound like conversations I have with my friends on a daily basis. It is nice to know we aren't the only derranged fucked up chicks in this world! Great story MW.


May 06, 2005 1:10 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:


I actually laughed out loud reading this. You guys are a riot.


May 06, 2005 4:36 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Little Sister & mrtl: I wasn't quite drunk, but I was definately not sober.

Kristine: You are one of my friends!

Chris & Darbi: We totally need to hang out!!!

Mrs. Pissy: Guy #3 asked me why I was so gross with my friends. I told him that most girls act like this when boys aren't around. He didn't believe me. I'm glad that I have you to back me up!

Krankipantzen: I'm glad you laughed!


May 07, 2005 11:29 PM 
Commented by Anonymous sarcastic journalist:


professional at work? You didn't say that, did you? Right? Come on...you're not lying to your friends, are you??


May 08, 2005 6:19 PM 
Commented by Blogger Shaun:


I want Kristine to be one of your friends, too.


May 08, 2005 11:31 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


Shaun is fucking STOOPID..


May 09, 2005 8:31 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


SJ: You're just jealous because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Shaun: Do I have to take baths with her?

Pissy: LOL. I always think it's funny when people say "STOOPID."


May 09, 2005 9:44 AM 
Commented by Blogger madmanan:


sounds like a hell of a time! also sounds like you have some pretty awesome friends!


May 09, 2005 11:36 AM 

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