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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Neutered

I just did a cavity search on my mouse (the computer kind, not the we're gonna test our drugs on it kind) becuase it was totally sticking and acting as my Girl Fest 2005 buzz kill. When I opened it up and took out the ball, here's what I found:

1.) 10 million pounds of lint
2.) A piece of something orange and hard, that I'm hoping was a piece of cheeto.
3.) A Curly hair, that I'm hoping was not a pube.
4.) Smegma

Reminds me of an exboyfriend. I wish I could have removed his balls too.

posted by The Merry Widow at 11:14 AM |

15 Comments:

Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:


i believe it's smagma. you're a pleasure to read.


May 04, 2005 2:28 PM 
Commented by Blogger Sissychong:


Ha ha ha ha! Thank you for the laugh!


May 04, 2005 2:45 PM 
Commented by Blogger Defective Writer:


If you could have removed his balls, I would have paid to see it!!! Hell I might have helped! Grab, twist, and pull.


May 04, 2005 3:11 PM 
Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:


According to Urban Dictionary, it's:

"1. schmegma
sticky substance formed in the uncircumcised skin of the penis due to poor hygine."

Casey's schmegma was too overwelming for Toni.


May 04, 2005 3:56 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


And according to Webster's Dictionary, it's "Smegma."

Don't question me on bodily secretions, people.

Main Entry: smegĀ·ma
Pronunciation: 'smeg-m&
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Latin, detergent, soap, from Greek smEgma, from smEchein to wash off, clean
: the secretion of a sebaceous gland; specifically : the cheesy sebaceous matter that collects between the glans penis and the foreskin or around the clitoris and labia minora

This was brought to you by the letter "b," the letter "j," and by the number 69. Join me next time when we learn the the definitions of "skeet" and "dirty sanchez."


May 04, 2005 4:19 PM 
Commented by Blogger Charlotte in Pa:


Thankfully Sissy already schooled me as to what a "dirty sanchez" is. Whew! I'm sorry that I even THOUGHT to question you. My deepest apologies. (Although seriously - which do you think is more reliable... Webster's or Urban Dictionary??)


May 04, 2005 9:50 PM 
Commented by Blogger Pink Stiletto:


That's a bad mental image, actually.

(P.S. Your last post... you are a lucky woman, we should all be blessed to have friends like that.)


May 04, 2005 9:53 PM 
Commented by Blogger Big Heavy:


i learned way more definitions than i wanted to here:

www.madameblake.com/def1.htm


May 05, 2005 1:33 AM 
Commented by Blogger Pissy Britches:


A PUBE! You are fucking cracking me up. Jeez!


May 05, 2005 8:43 AM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Charlotte: Actually, I should apologize to you. I should never ever question the Urban dictionary. Thanks for setting me straight!

Pink Stiletto: The real image wasn't that great either. Oh yeah, and regarding the last post: Thanks!

Big Heavy: Ewwww. I too learned way more than I wanted to know.

Pissy: It's all fun and games until you find one in *your* mouse. Yuck!


May 05, 2005 9:42 AM 
Commented by Blogger Random and Odd:


Yeah, good thing I wasn't drinking something!


May 05, 2005 9:55 AM 
Commented by Blogger michaela:


ew ew ew. so gross what we find floating around...but wow, smegma, huh?


May 05, 2005 12:52 PM 
Commented by Blogger Von Krankipantzen:


WOW! That is some mouse.


May 05, 2005 1:41 PM 
Commented by Anonymous mrtl:


As memorized in high school (it was a stupid party trick): Smegma: a foul-smelling, cheese-like sebacious secretion formed on the clitoris and the foreskin of the penis.

Really, you should never, ever open a mouse. At least not without the appropriate personal protective equipment.


May 05, 2005 3:32 PM 
Commented by Blogger The Merry Widow:


Kristine: It would have been funnier if you were drinking something!

Michaela & Krankipantzen: What grosses me out the most is that I took over this mouse after the last guy left...which was like 3 years ago! So this is 3 year old smeg and pubes we're talking about here!!!

Mrtl: I love that you memorized the definition to smegma. You would fit right in with my friends and me.


May 05, 2005 5:14 PM 

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